When I lost you
by ncislove
Summary: And suddenly his world comes tumbling down. Gibbs/Abby.
1. Chapter 1

I was burned out on fic writing for a bit, then I went and saw Mark Harmon again and he lined up the plot bunnies in alphabetical order for me and gave me a little nudge by way of a very gibbsian smile. *swoon*

* * *

"Addison... Oh Addy, what happened to you?" Rex shifted out from under his cardboard shelter and helped her to sit down. "I haven't seen you in so long, I've been worried sick about you!"

"Help me, my head… I think I'm bleeding," it was hard to see what the dark sticky substance on her fingers was. The streetlamp above was burned out and only the glow of the traffic lights down the streets gave a small hint of light.

"Yeah, you're bleeding quite a bit, let me take a look." Rex grabbed the water bottle he'd just filled up at the park water fountain. "What happened?"

"I… I'm not sure… I… I don't remember your name. What happened?"

"It's me, Rex, remember? We met in Santa Fe, and we were going to see the world together and then you went away. Don't you remember?"

"I'm not sure…"

"It's okay, Addy. I'll take care of you." He poured cool water over the cut on the side of her head. "How'd you get hurt?"

"I… I hit my head."

"I see," Rex nodded, and then frowned. "Wait, you're not back on the hard stuff, are you? We agreed to stay away from that, remember?"

"Uh huh."

"Alright, get some sleep. We'll find a place more comfortable tomorrow. And I know of a clinic that'll clean the cut on your head and check you over. I've got a few bus passes to get us there, okay?" He handed her a raggedy blanket and motioned for her to move to the dry area under the cardboard. "This'll have to do for tonight."

"Thank you."

* * *

Tony placed his report on Gibbs' desk and turned to collect his things. If they hurried and were lucky enough to leave before a new case came in, it would be the first night in over two weeks that they were off before seven.

"You almost done, McGoo?"

"Al...most…" With a final click of his mouse, McGee had the report finished. Grabbing the papers off the printer, he signed both copies, and popped out of his seat. "Done! You coming Ziva?"

Ziva glanced up, watching as both McGee and Tony hurried to gather their personal belongings. "Just about, but I'd rather spend a few extra minutes now rather than have to redo the entire thing because of a simple mistake."

Tony glanced at their boss, almost expecting him hand back his report and ask him to redo it. When Gibbs didn't look up, he let out a little sigh. "There isn't that much to do. Sign your name at the bottom and let's go. I'm hungry!"

"Just a minute… done!" Ziva scanned the document one last time, printed and signed the bottom. "My report."

Gibbs glanced up and then, after a moment's hesitation, accepted the report. "Go home."

Tony tried not to grin widely at the remark. He'd been waiting all day to go home, and had his fingers crossed that they would finally have Sunday off as well. "Have a good rest of the weekend, boss!" Tony tried rushing McGee toward the elevator, waving at Ziva to hurry her up.

It didn't take long before all three were piled into the elevator, wishing their boss a pleasant rest of the weekend.

Gibbs looked up and gave them a brief nod. He only had a few things to finish up and then he would be on his way as well. The elevators weren't closed for more than a minute when his phone rang, almost echoing in the empty squad room. "Yeah, Gibbs." He listened to the details - dead petty officers, Rock Creek Park. Glancing at the clock on the wall, at a quarter to seven, he and his team were still on duty. With a heavy sigh he ended the call and then called Tony. His gut was telling him it was going to be a long night.

* * *

Tony hoisted the camera bag higher up on his shoulder as they walked toward the flashing lights of the local cops. "You know, if you're a petty officer, and you're going to Rock Creek Park… you might as well make sure your will is up-to-date."

Rolling his eyes, Tim snorted. "Or at least make sure you've got your funeral plans all arranged."

Ziva walked up behind them, her notebook out as she prepared to take witness statements. "What is it about Rock Creek Park and Petty Officers?"

"It won't be safe for any of you if you don't start working," Gibbs breezed past them to find whoever was in charge of the scene so that they could take over and get to work.

Tony turned and snapped a few photos of McGee's face, before taking a more serious approach to the scene, starting with photographs of the victims' body.

"On it, Boss," came the unison reply from the agents.

When Gibbs saw the evidence begin to pile up, he knew it couldn't wait until morning. He knew Abby was out, she had asked to leave early, but if she didn't at least come in and get a few of the tests running, she would likely end up spending the night between Sunday and Monday in the lab. Reluctantly he pulled out his cell and made the call.

The beat of the music was driving through her, making her body sway and dip with each shift in sound and tempo. Her body was so wrapped up in the dance that it took her several moments before the vibration of her cell phone neatly trapped in the front pocket of her leather pants got her attention. Sliding it from her pocket, she considered just ignoring the call. Tonight was supposed to be her night, a night to emerge herself in the darkness and neon lights of the dance hall. But when she saw the caller id, she knew she could never ignore him. With a finger pressed into her ear, she hit the accept button.

"Hey, Gibbs! Did you change your mind? Are you going to come out to the club? Place is called Glow and it's on first street. The music's amazing; really hot DJ tonight. I think the bartender has a thing for me 'cause he keeps wanting to make me drinks. But I'm staying away from them since we're on call tonight." There was only one reason Gibbs would call her this late on a Saturday night – and it wasn't a reason she was hoping for.

"Abbs…" He knew she was telling the truth about staying away from the drinks, but there was something in the way she sounded when she was out, something he couldn't quite pin-point, and it made him wonder what exactly it would be like if he did join her at one of her clubs someday. "We caught a case. I've got some evidence headed back to the lab. Shouldn't take you long to get it started."

Abby sighed, the inevitability of the end of her evening crashing down. "A case. Right. I'll be there in twenty," she replied, trying to cover her disappointment. She knew that he would never come out with her, but a part of her still hoped that someday... "Hey Gibbs?"

"Hmm?"

"You owe me a drink for this. And not just a Caf-Pow!. I mean, you've got to actually take me out for a drink."

"Yeah, okay," he was briefly distracted by a cop handing him some paperwork, "We'll meet you at NCIS." Gibbs hung up and made a mental note to himself to be sure to pick up a Caf-Pow! before going to see her in the lab. Hopefully she could get her tests loaded and then go back out to her party. If he was lucky, she'd still be in her party gear.

Gibbs stepped back over to where Tony, McGee and Ziva were loading up evidence into the trunk. He handed them the last box and then with a quick nod to Ducky and Palmer as they loaded up the body, he slid into the driver's seat.

"We were so close to having tomorrow off. So close!" Tony slammed the trunk shut and then rushed forward for the passenger's seat. "Shotgun!"

Sliding in the seat directly behind the driver's side, Tim joked, "What did you have a hot date or something tonight, Tony? I'm sure you could always call the dorm to reschedule." The college comment brought Tim back to the time where he and Kate had harassed Tony about his car getting towed outside of a nearby college dorm.

Gibbs had them back to the Navy Yard in half the time it would have taken anyone else, even Ziva. He was tired, and had hoped for some time off as well, but bitching about it wasn't going to make the case go any quicker. He left his agents to unload the car while he ran down the street for coffee and a Caf-Pow!.

While Tim headed to the squad room to upload the pictures to the plasma, Ziva followed Tony to the forensics lab, their arms loaded down with the evidence they had collected. She was looking forward to seeing her friend, knowing the other woman had been out. With a closet full of outrageous clothes, Ziva wondered just what outfit the forensics specialist had worn.

"This is my favorite part! We get to see what Abby is wearing… or how much she _isn't_ wearing." Tony twisted his fingers together in anticipation.

* * *

TBC…

This one won't be a mega-long fic like, but I'm not certain on the chapter count. I've got about 10K words so far. I hope for pretty regular posting, though I'm on vacation in Cali right now (zomg, so hot!).


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Gibbs glanced at his watch. Traffic wasn't always the easiest, but it had been than enough time for Abby to make it in to work. He glared at no one in particular and reached for the phone on his desk, dialing the extension for the lab. It continued to ring and ring, with no answer. And unless she was right in the middle of something, it never went past two rings.

It wasn't like Abby to be late, and on the rare occasion she would be more than just a few minutes, she always called to let him know. And it certainly wasn't like her to bypass the squad room, especially if she had been out dancing. It was obvious that she knew that Gibbs, Tony and McGee liked to see her dressed up, so she would always saunter through with a flirtatious smile and a wave.

Gibbs was just about ready to dial her cell phone when the elevator dinged.

"Hey guys," Jimmy Palmer strolled through the squad room. He had been doing some extra cleaning for Ducky and hadn't had the chance to leave before they got the call. "Have you seen the news? That new club downtown, Glow, went up in smoke."

Tony laughed, "I can't see that ruining your weekend plans. Can't say that seems like a place you'd visit, Jimmy."

"Thanks Tony," Palmer rolled his eyes. "But no, guess there was a gas line explos-"

"What did you say?" Gibbs slammed his phone down in its cradle and jumped up. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV to ZNN.

"Don't tell me boss, you wanted to go too?"

Gibbs walked silently over to the screen, his attention focused on the chaos caught by news cameras. He turned slowly to look at Tony and Ziva as they approached. "Abby was there."

Tony paled and Ziva reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. McGee, still sat at his desk, picked up the phone and dialed her cell phone. "Went right to voice mail." Abby never had her phone switched off - ever since she had learned Gibbs' rules, she was never unreachable. Even in church or at the movies, she only ever put it on silent so she could feel if it started to vibrate. "Maybe she dropped it and it isn't working, maybe…"

"In the car," Gibbs rushed back to his desk to grab the keys, his badge and gun, and as a group they rushed for the elevators, leaving a bewildered Jimmy to stand alone in the squad room.

The city moved by in a blur as Gibbs navigated the streets faster than he ever had before. Tony sat beside him in the front and told him when and where to turn. They could smell the smoke before they saw the building, and Gibbs' knew had to find Abby – and once he did, he wasn't letting her go. For months, years they had danced around one another. Flirting without crossing that line, neither of them 100% sure about how the other felt, so they kept things safe – unwilling to ruin the friendship that had come to mean more than either of them could describe.

Gibbs remembered the panic he'd felt when he'd gotten the phone call that there had been an _accident_ back home. He'd know they were both gone before he had even gotten the details. His throat tightened and he pressed his foot down on the accelerator bringing their speed to a dangerous level.

He skidded the car to a halt just outside of the police tape, and all four agents jumped out. A local cop tried to stop them, but they all flashed their ID's and were let in.

"I didn't know NCIS was involved," one of the cops commented.

Gibbs walked slowly toward the smoldering building. The fire had burned hot and quick, and firefighters had contained it easily. The new building had been reduced to a pile of rubble – twisted metal, wires and charred sheetrock. The sound of people crying and the scream of ambulance sirens shook him from the shock of what he saw. "Abby…" he turned to the parking lot where medics had gathered survivors.

The four ran over, looking for Abby's familiar raven hair.

"Abby Sciuto, have you seen her?" Tony pulled up a photo of her on his cell phone and moved from person to person.

"We've already sent 20-30 people to various local hospitals," one medic said. "But was she inside the building?"

"Yeah, we think so. Or she was headed out."

"All the people here, and the people we've already transported, were standing outside smoking or in the parking lot. It was a big blast, anyone inside the club never had a chance."

Gibbs turned to look at the building again. "I had called her, told her we needed her. She must have been on her way to NCIS." That had to be it. Maybe she heard the explosion so she had turned around. Maybe she was with a friend at the hospital… Gibbs knew he would feel it in his gut if she was gone. He could feel the edges of panic starting to creep up on him and he wasn't sure what he was feeling anymore.

"Boss, I called into the office to have Dorneget try and trace her cell. It's not coming up," McGee tucked his cell back in his pocket.

"Time of the blast?"

"18:54 by our best estimate," one of the medics answered.

Gibbs flipped open his cellphone to see that he had ended his call to Abby at 18:48. "About six minutes." No one was willing to voice it, but they all knew that it was doubtful Abby had said goodbye to all her friends, picked up her jacket at the coat-check and made it out the door in that time frame.

"Boss..." Tony's voice was strangled.

When Gibbs turned to him, he saw Tony had stopped a few feet back. He followed the younger agent's gaze. There, parked in the far corner of the lot, was Abby's hotrod. Seeing her car still in the lot felt like a punch to the gut and a wave of nausea washed over him. "We'll check the hospitals."

* * *

Gibbs' dropped Ziva and McGee back at NCIS so they could get a different car. They had gotten the names of four hospitals in the area that had taken patients from the blast zone, so McGee and Ziva would take two and Gibbs and Tony would take the other two. It was quiet in the car as Gibbs drove toward their first hospital. They jogged through the parking lot and only slowed as they approached the front desk in the ER, their badges already out.

"We're looking for a woman that may have been brought in from the explosion downtown," Gibbs held up his badge and Tony held up his phone with her photo. "We don't know if she was hurt, or maybe accompanied a friend."

The nurse shook her head, "We've only taken six patients so far, expecting a few more… she doesn't look familiar, and everyone that is waiting on a friend or family member is waiting there," she nodded toward a small waiting area. Everyone was visibly upset, a few with minor scratches, likely from hitting the pavement as they ducked for cover, but Abby wasn't one of them.

"You mind if we have a quick peek at the people you've taken back."

The nurse looked as though she was about to deny them, but something in her changed as she looked at Gibbs. She gave a quick nod and pointed down a hall to the left. "That way."

Each time Gibbs peeked into a room to find that Abby wasn't there he felt his heart squeeze just a little tighter. By the time they were back at NCIS and still no sign of Abby, he wasn't sure he'd be able to breathe much longer.

* * *

With their case passed off to a different team, Gibbs and his team spent the rest of the weekend and into Monday trying to find some sort of clue as to what happened to Abby. They checked and rechecked all the hospitals in the area, and spoke to the survivors. None of them knew who Abby was and only one vaguely remembered seeing her dancing earlier in the night. Vance was the voice of reason, but because of how popular Abby had been with everyone in the building, he allowed them to use NCIS resources to try and find her.

Finally, on Tuesday afternoon, Gibbs got the call that he had been dreading. He listened, wrote down a few notes and then hung up.

"Boss?"

"Abby's friend Carol. She, together with Abby's brother, has decided that she was most likely lost in the building when it exploded. She would've found us, or found help… Her brother is planning a funeral in Louisiana this weekend. Carol is planning a memorial here at her church for the following weekend," Gibbs let out a shuddered sigh. "Go home, I'll figure out flights and let you know when to be at the airport." There was no sense in keeping them at work when they wouldn't get anything done.

No one said anything as they collected their things. Gibbs worked hard to keep it together. He waited until his team had gone home, their shoulders slouched forward and their heads hanging low as they headed for the elevator. He gathered his things and jogged up the stairs to tell Vance. Their conversation was brief, and Vance didn't object to them taking the rest of the week off. "I'll call the FBI, their director owes me a favor or two, I might be able to get you on their jet to fly down for her service."

Gibbs nodded and then left.

He headed for autopsy and judging by the fact that Ducky was alone and had brought out the scotch, he had either gotten a call from one of the team, or Carol had called him as well.

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation…" Ducky pushed a glass toward Gibbs and then lifted his own.

"Kahlil Gibran."

"So you're familiar with his words."

"My father quoted the same line just before we laid Shannon to rest."

Ducky thought about apologizing, but kept his mouth shut, knowing Gibbs didn't want to hear it, nor would it do any good. It had been obvious from day one that there was a mutual attraction between Gibbs and Abby. Gibbs had been struggling through the end of his last marriage and Abby had been in a relationship as well, but she had always been there with a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen and a non-judgmental way of offering her opinion.

As Gibbs' relationship had come to a final end, so did Abby's. From then on, neither had be serious about anyone else, and Ducky knew for a fact that they had both cancelled on dates in order to spend time with the other. He wasn't sure why nothing had ever happened, but he supposed it was likely Gibbs' that was holding back – his rules, combined with his fear of ruining all of his relationships, kept him from exploring the possibility of a relationship with Abby.

Gibbs downed the scotch and then headed back to the door. "Go home Duck, get some rest."

He thought he was driving himself home, but when he put his truck in park and looked up, he realized he was parked in front of Abby's apartment. Tony had been by twice to double check that she hadn't caught a cab home, but Gibbs had yet to set foot inside her place. He debated turning around and going home, but body seemed to have a different idea, and he found himself making his way toward her apartment, picking the lock and letting himself in.

"Abbs…" He knew she wasn't there, but still felt the need to check. He just couldn't believe that she was gone.

He dropped his keys on the table just inside the door and moved through her apartment, checking all the rooms _just in case_. He headed back out to the living room and settled on her couch. Looking around, he took in all the photos she had displayed around the room – her friends, family, the nuns. On the bookshelf there was a photo from her visit to Stillwater. She was hugging Jack who was smiling big. Tony was in the background making a face. Gibbs now wished he had been in the photo as well, but he had been the one to take it, declining her offer to be in it at the time.

Kicking his shoes off, he stretched out on couch and stared at the light above. He had stayed the night on her couch more than once for various reasons – once because of termites in the basement, a few times to make sure she was safe. He could almost hear her moving around her kitchen, and he half expected her to bring him a cup of coffee.

"_Not quite as strong as you like it, but should do the trick…" Abby interrupted his thoughts and carried in a mug of coffee and sat on the edge of the couch looking down at him._

"_Don't need coffee, Abbs. Need you."_

"_Don't be silly Gibbs, I'm right here." She set his coffee down on the table and then reached out to brush her hand along his cheek. "I'll always be here for you."_

Gibbs blinked away the moisture from the corner of his eyes and watched as Abby faded away. He didn't know if he would survive this.

Didn't know if he wanted to.

* * *

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

**Poor Gibbs, huh? And I guess a tissue warning would've been helpful for that last chapter…?**

**Chapter Three**

Gibbs woke with a start, nearly falling off Abby's couch. He was certain he heard keys in the lock and rushed to the door to swing it open. The hallway was empty and the solitude he was so used to hit him in the stomach like a sack of bricks and suddenly it wasn't so welcome. Before, whenever he had been alone, he had only been a phone call away from Abby's cheerful voice. She didn't know it, but sometimes he would call to check in on her, just so he didn't feel alone. Slamming the door shut he went back to retrieve his shoes. He picked up the photo of Abby and his father, and was surprised to find a photo of Abby and himself tucked behind it. Tony must've taken it; neither of them were looking at the camera. Abby was perched on the counter in Jack's store reading a section of a newspaper article to him. He was smiling big in the photo and he remembered she was reading the town gossip column.

He traced his finger over her face and tried to imagine the softness of her skin. He had touched her before – cradled her face in his hands as she cried over the loss of Jenny, kissed her soft cheek when she delivered results and had even traced her spider web tattoo after months of trying to glance at it when she wasn't paying attention.

"_You can look at it if you want, I don't mind," she had said, pushing her hair out of the way._

_Gibbs stepped up closer to her and tilted her head to the side so he could have a better look. "It hurt?" He traced his finger along the outer edge of the web._

"_A little, but worth it."_

He took both photos and grabbed his keys. With one last look around the apartment he pulled the door shut behind him, knowing he would never return.

* * *

Somehow the entire team made it through the funeral down in Louisiana, paying their respects quietly as those who knew Abby as a child, before she moved away, took turns sharing memories. It was hard to sit and listen, but it felt unreal. The team seemed to move on autopilot, acknowledging those that spoke to them, and sticking together as a team in all that they did.

The flight home was long and quiet and when they arrived back at the airport they quietly went their separate ways.

Gibbs had no illusions that things wouldn't be _back to normal_ come Monday morning, but it was an extra slap in the face to find Abby's replacement boxing up Abby's personal items.

"You're agent Gibbs? I'm Kevin Baker; I'll be working the lab from now on. I was told that you'd know what to do with this… stuff..?" The new assistant was roughly the same age as Gibbs, and seemed to have a no-nonsense approach to everything, unlike Abby.

Gibbs bristled at the way Baker insinuated that it was just _stuff._ He looked at the big box and watched to reach out and hug the stuffed hippo perched on top. "I'll take it, is there anything else?"

"If I come across any more trinkets, I'll box them up and bring them to your desk."

Gibbs was bending over to pick up the box, but stopped at Bakers comment. "These aren't _trinkets_. She died, and these are her personal belongings. If you mention Abby again, you'll be out of a job."

* * *

"I still can't believe she's gone. I half expect her to come through the squad room to raid your desk for candy," McGee swiveled in his chair to face Tony, frowning as Tony seemed to ignore him. McGee remembered when his grandmother had passed away a few years prior, that he and Sarah had sat around with their cousins, sharing memories of their late grandmother, laughing over funny stories. "Remember when she was dressed as Marilyn Monroe?"

"Can it, McGee. We remember, okay. We don't need you to drag us through every memory you have," Tony snapped.

McGee looked as though he had been slapped across the face. "Sorry, Tony, I…"

"McGee…" Ziva stood and made her way over to his desk. "We all deal with our grief differently," she gave a sidelong glance toward Tony. "If you would like to remember some of the better times, maybe would could have lunch together and talk."

McGee nodded and turned back to his work.

Ziva glanced over at Gibbs as she moved back to her desk, wanting to offer some sort of comfort, but not knowing how.

They continued to work quietly and quickly. Vance had them all on desk duty to finish up paperwork and to take a chance to grieve. He didn't want to put them out in the field right away, worried that their grief would put them in danger.

Over the course of the week, Tony's anger festered. All McGee wanted to do was talk about Abby, bringing her name up non-stop. Ducky wanted to talk about her two, and he felt slightly guilty that he avoided the older man, but Gibbs was doing the same. He'd leave McGee and Ducky to talk as much as they wanted. Palmer didn't seem to know what to say to anyone, so he kept his head down and his mouth shut. Tony glanced up at Gibbs and had to look away. He didn't know how long the older man would last after the memorial at Abby's church. Her funeral back home was one thing, but grieving at home, with the people that Abby saw regularly was different. It was obvious that Gibbs wasn't sleeping, and Tony wondered if he was eating. He knew that Gibbs wouldn't miss her memorial, but he was almost willing to be that it would be the last he saw of the man, doubting that Gibbs would want anything to do with NCIS after he said his final goodbye. And he couldn't blame the man, he wasn't sure he wanted to stick around either.

Then he looked over to Ziva's empty desk. She had been working as though nothing was wrong; as if one of the best people in the world was still in her lab doing whatever it was that Abby normally did in her lab. Seeing Ziva's empty desk, where Kate had once sat, pushed his anger to a new level. If she wasn't going to mourn their friend, then she had no place in his life.

He pushed up from his seat, not even checking to see if Gibbs was curious as to where he was going. He wasn't surprised to find Ziva in the gym – she spent plenty of time working on her fitness, but now... He stormed into the gym, slamming the door behind him as she worked one of the punching bags. "Are you really that heartless, it's like you don't even care-" He was tired of her stone face and cold emotions.

Ziva spun around, surprised when she heard the door slam shut and Tony stopped mid-sentence. He hadn't expected to see her eyes red from crying as she worked out her emotions.

"Ziva…"

Ziva shook her head and wiped her nose. "In Mossad we are trained not to show our emotions. Losing a friend is just… part of what happens, but Abby… she wasn't one of us, she wasn't an agent, she shouldn't have died!"

"I'm sorry," Tony moved closer and pulled her into a hug, "you were right earlier… we all deal in different ways. And I… it felt like you didn't care."

"I just don't know what to do…"

"None of us do. But whatever it is, we've gotta stick together otherwise we're going to fall apart."

"Gibbs." Ziva took a shaky breath and almost in an instant the emotion she had been showing was gone.

Tony nodded. "We've got to prepare ourselves for the fact that he might leave and not come back… not for anything… anyone," he referenced the time Gibbs had come back to help Ziva when she had been wanted by several agencies.

"There is nothing we can do," Ziva shrugged. "Love like that, it doesn't matter what we try."

* * *

Saturday morning Gibbs forced himself to shower and dress for her memorial, despite having hardly any sleep. Carol had asked if he would be interested in speaking, but he had declined. Ducky, Sister Rosita, and several others had offered to say a few words, but Gibbs knew he wouldn't be able to get more than a few words out. In some ways he felt as if he was letting her down, but Abby knew he wasn't a man of many words and that she would understand.

He sat at the small kitchen table and sipped a cup of coffee as he forced himself to have a few bites of cereal. He was certain the memorial would be well attended. Besides the nuns, Abby had groups of friends all over the place – the bowling alley, dance clubs, and several different US agencies. Fornell had said that people at the FBI had been fighting for time off to be able attend.

He glanced over at the box of Abby's things he'd brought home from NCIS. Carol had told him that she would be going through Abby's apartment the following weekend if there was anything he wanted. He had already taken a few photos, but other than that, he didn't want anything. But the box of stuff from NCIS he wasn't willing to part with. There was a small figurine that Tony had given her and he planned to hand that back to the agent, but everything else, Bert included, he planned to hold on to. He wasn't sure what he would do with it, likely keep it boxed up, write her name on it and store it in the basement with the boxes of stuff belonging to Shannon and Kelly.

His life, everything that he loved, contained in a few old cardboard boxes.

* * *

Rex didn't like most people, but since Addison seemed to make friends everywhere they went, he put up with spending more and more time with people. Earlier in the week, while Addison was waiting to be seen at the free clinic, they were invited to a free lunch offered at a local church. Rex was hesitant, but they both needed a decent meal and when he saw Addy's eyes light up at the idea, he agreed to go.

It was a big church and when they arrived they were directed to the garden in the back. There was a memorial in progress, so lunch was being served in the garden. The smell of the BBQ made Rex's stomach rumble. "Now remember, Addy… you've got to stay here, no wandering off like you did in Santa Fe, I can't keep you safe if I don't know where you are."

Addy just rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Abby's admirers – because what we all are – are spread all across the world. Growing up, I always knew she would be special. Not just within the science field, though the entire science community is mourning her passing, but as a person, I knew she would make a difference." Carol took a moment and continued. "Several years ago we were having dinner together and she confessed she had fallen in love. Real love, is what she had called it. She wasn't in a relationship, and now, I think she knew she never would be, but it didn't keep her from loving. At first I was jealous, worried that this man would take her away from me, that she wouldn't have time for me anymore, but that's the thing about Abby. She had time for everyone. She made sure to listen and even when she had a million other things to do, she always made you feel like she had all the time in the world, just for you."

No one had questioned Gibbs when he chose to sit in the very back of the church, and as Carol spoke, he felt wave after wave of nausea wash over him.

He couldn't go through this again.

"She loved everyone, and loved helping people however she could. When we arranged her funeral, the church offered to postpone its Saturday lunch for the homeless, but talking with Sister Rosita, we both decided that Abby would love that her memorial service was shared with people less fortunate. Abby is in heaven now and we are here at her funeral. This is not the time for us to grieve her passing but it's our time to celebrate her life. So please, remember how she made us laugh and how good of a person she was. This is not the moment for us to shed our tears but we should all be thankful that we were given the chance to have known such a wonderful person. Abby will forever be missed but I know in the right time, I will meet her again. We will all meet Abby again and she'll make us laugh again."

Gibbs had enough. Ducky was set to speak next, and while he was certain Ducky would have wonderful things to say about Abby, he couldn't listen. Carefully and quietly, he scooted out the back, bursting into the fresh air as he tried to hold back. He tripped down the steps and moved away from where the BBQ was set up. He stumbled around the side of the church and heaved into a garbage can. His stomach was empty, but he couldn't seem to control himself.

First Shannon and Kelly, then Jenny. Mike was gone, and now Abby. Mike had gotten him through the loss of the first three, and then it had been Abby who had pulled him through it all. And now, without Abby… "_Oh God_."

"Are you okay, sir?" He was interrupted.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh, the last chapter wasn't **_**that**_** sad, was it? Now I'm in Oregon and have decent internet connection for the evening….**

**Chapter Four**

Addison was having a great time at the BBQ. A few of the people she met had sworn they had seen her before, but Rex was adamant that they had just arrived from Santa Fe. Ever since she'd hit her head though, everything had seemed fuzzy. She certainly didn't recognize anyone from the lunch, but her memories of Santa Fe weren't coming through either – though the church grounds seemed very familiar.

She startled when the back door of the church burst open and a man nearly fell down the steps and rushed around the corner. He looked sickly pale and she wondered if maybe an ambulance would be needed. She excused herself from the table, and carried her plate to the trash before following the man around to the side of the building. She watched quietly as he heaved into the trashcan and wondered if it had to do with the memorial service going on inside. Turning to grab a bottle of water from a cooler, Addy headed over to the man. "Are you okay, sir?" She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Fine," he shrugged away from her but kept his eyes trained on the trash can.

"I… I brought you some water," she held the water bottle out to him.

"Thank…" Gibbs finally looked up to accept the water. "A- Abby?"

Addy shook her head and smiled. "Close, it's Addy, well Addison, but people call me Addy. Here, drink this, it'll help you feel better."

"No… Abby," Gibbs choked on his words, "you're alive… we… we've been looking… you died…" he reached out to touch her face, but was surprised when out of nowhere one of the homeless men from the lunch stepped between them and slapped his hand away.

"You stay away from her," Rex warned. "She was just tryin' to be nice and share some water. Keep your hands off."

Gibbs was too in shock to do much more than stutter. "No… no, I know her."

"Addy, you know this guy?" Rex nodded at Gibbs, his hands on his hips.

"I… I don't know, but… but maybe he looks familiar. Wait, you're… you're a marine, right?" Out of nowhere an image of him in uniform popped into her mind. Strong, loyal… warm. She felt like she knew him, but couldn't pinpoint any actual memories.

"Yes, yes! Abby you were at a club, I called you in to work, don't you… oh _God, _you're alive." He was shaking, his fingers twitching nervously by his side.

"Jethro, I saw you… Oh heavens!" Rosita rounded the corner and then clutched her hands to her chest. "Abigail, I can't… how… _oh praise Jesus_!"

"Wait, I know you too?" Abby's eyes went wide. "Why can't I remember?" she turned to Rex, hoping he could clear things up.

"You've got the wrong person," Rex shouted at them. "This is Addison! Don't listen to them Addy, we'll go back to Santa Fe, back where everything started."

Abby looked almost fearful when Rex started to get angry, causing Gibbs to move closer. "We've got to get you to the hospital, Abbs. They've got to look you over."

Something in the way he said _Abbs_ put her at ease. "O-okay."

"No Addy, you can't leave me again!" Rex reached out to grab her arm, but Abby moved away from him to stand beside Rosita.

At the sound of the shouting a few of the other homeless men at the BBQ came round the corner. "Rex, go sit down and shut up," one of them walked over and grabbed his arm tugging him back toward the tables. "He's been off his meds for a while, been kinda angry the past few weeks."

"Addison, if you leave now, you can't ever come back with me. I'm headed back to Santa Fe with or without you!"

Gibbs put himself between Abby and Rex, bringing her attention back to him. "This is Rosita, you know her too. We're… we're your friends, you and I, we work together at NCIS, you don't remember?"

"I… I don't know. I don't remember much beyond this past week. I remember stuff as a kid, growing up in the south, Louisiana, right? I have a brother, Luca."

Gibbs nodded. "What did they call you, can you remember that?"

"A… Abby? I'm not sure… Rex said it was Addy, that my name is Addison."

"No," Gibbs pulled out his wallet and fished out her NCIS ID card which let her into the building. "This is yours. See? Your name and photo, this is you."

Abby took the small plastic card in her hands. She was wearing some sort of collar in the photo and her hair was in pigtails. Suddenly she felt as if her neck was naked, "I wore collars like this a lot?" She pointed at the photo and then brought her hand to her neck.

"You did," Gibbs nodded. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hug her until the end of time. But her body language said that she was still uncomfortable.

"Why are you here? At the church?"

"Abby…" he couldn't stop saying her name, "we thought you died. This is your memorial."

Her eyes went wide again and she looked over to Rosita, who nodded in agreement. "Well this is awkward."

Gibbs reached out and brushed his thumb just under the cut on the side of her head. "Let me take you to the hospital, _please_?"

"Go with him, sweetie. I'll… oh Lord, I don't know what to tell the people inside. We can't let them go on…"

"I'll take her to the hospital; you stop the service and explain what's going on. Tell Ducky that I'll call him once we're at the hospital and she's being looked over."

"Ducky…" Abby said his name slowly.

"You remember him?"

"Is he a doctor? I… I remember waking up, my head hurt and I thought about needing… a duck, doctor… I'm not sure."

"Yes," Gibbs smiled. "That's right, come…" he took her hand and laced his fingers with hers before leading her to his car. He walked slowly, allowing her to walk alongside him, seemingly lost in thought. He led her to his truck and opened the door for her. He wanted to pull her into a hug, run his fingers through her hair and smother her with kisses, but instead he waited until she was seated and helped her with the seatbelt before closing the door and circling around to get in the driver's side. He hesitated a moment before opening the car door, taking a deep breath so that he could focus on the road. He was still trembling and his eyes burned as though he were on the verge of tears again. He opened the door and half expected to be alone again, but knowing that Rosita had seen her too, reassured him that she was real. Several times shortly after Shannon and Kelly had died, he had sworn he had seen them around town. Kelly he had seen in the window of the toy shop, at the ice cream counter and in the school yard. Shannon he had seen in the garden, the grocery store and even at the lumber yard as he searched for materials for a boat.

As soon as the car was started, Abby reached out as if she wanted to turn on the radio and then hesitated. "It doesn't work, does it…?"

"No," Gibbs smiled, "you've been bugging me to get it fixed, guess I'd better get it done."

Abby smiled faintly, and turned to look out the window. "How long have I been gone?"

"Just over a week. You were declared dead mid-week. You weren't among any of the survivors, your car was still in the parking lot. The building burned fast, most of the people inside died and their bodies were never recovered," Gibbs' struggled against the emotion in his voice, "just turned to ash."

"Do you think I'll remember everything?"

Gibbs reached out to cover her hand with his. "Yeah, and I'll be here to help you. The whole team will."

"Team?"

"I'll fill you in on everything, let's just get you looked over first, okay?"

They were quiet the rest of the ride to the hospital. Gibbs recognized the nurse at the front desk from when he had checked on the survivors that had been brought in the previous weekend. They were brought to a room right away and a nurse came in to look at the healing cut on the side of her head, and the last of the cuts on her arms and then they were left to wait for a doctor to come in.

"Were we… um, were we together?" Abby's cheeks tinged pink and she dropped her gaze.

Gibbs felt his stomach tighten, unsure of how to respond. How could he tell her how he'd been in love with her for so long, but it had been easier, safer to hold her an arm's length away? He'd always known about her _crush_ on him, and he'd always just assumed it was more of a hero worship rather than anything deep. Why would she love a broken man like him anyway? "Why do you ask?" It was the easy way out.

"The way you were looking at me and the way you held my hand… am I right?"

"We-" Gibbs looked up when the door opened and the doctor strolled in.

* * *

Tony rambled nervously as he tried to run through his most favorite memories with Abby.

"Alright, that's enough DiNozzo," Gibbs warned lightly, "she's had enough for today, let her get some rest." Gibbs had been monitoring everyone's visits with her as she seemed most comfortable in his presence even though she didn't quite remember him.

Carol had been overwhelmed by the whole experience and hadn't stayed long, needing time to process everything. McGee's visit had been short and quiet. Gibbs could see that the younger Agent still had feelings for Abby, but relief had visibly overwhelmed him, and McGee looked worse than he had at her funeral. Abby had picked up on the awkwardness of the visit and tried asking a few basic questions and then had looked to Gibbs as if to ask him to move things along.

Ziva's visit had been good, and Gibbs had sat back listening quietly as Ziva told Abby the story of how she had come to NCIS and their struggles in the beginning. She told Abby about Kate, which had sparked a few memories, and how the two had grown closer over the past few years as Ziva felt like less and less of a replacement.

Tony had gone last, needing the time to deal with his own overwhelming emotions and then get a bit of fresh air before facing his best friend.

He hadn't been sure of what to say at first, but as soon as Abby smiled at him, all his worries vanished so he had sat on the edge of the bed and rambled on, pausing only long enough to listen to the questions Abby could come up with.

"Wait," Abby stopped Tony from leaving and then thought for a moment, "…don't you usually… smack the back of his head?" She was remembering bits and pieces of her friends – fuzzy memories, but memories none-the-less.

"Yes!" Tony rushed forward and pulled her into an awkward hug and then backed off. "Sorry boss."

"That's good work, Abbs," Gibbs gave her hand a squeeze and leaned in out of habit to kiss her cheek.

Abby held tight to Gibbs' hand as Tony hugged her and promised to be back first thing in the morning. "Gibbs," she whispered as soon as they were alone. The moment he kissed her cheek, it was like an instant replay of every time he'd ever kissed her cheek.

Although he had told her his name and that she preferred to call him _Gibbs_, it was the first time she'd said it. "Hmm?" He sat on the edge of her hospital bed, a gentle smile on his face.

As soon as he was sitting and facing her, Abby sat up and leaned forward to hug him tightly. "You called me Abbs and kissed my check and I… I had this flash of… you've done that before. A lot. It's like my memories are just… right there. Like when you are trying to think of a word and you know it, but you can't remember it and…" she frowned as she tried to push the memories to the forefront of her mind. "I was at the club and heading out the back because it was less crowded and there was a big boom and," she rambled, "I… I.. remember waking up by the dumpster and was so confused and… _oh my God_, how could I ever forget you?!" She hugged herself close to him and pressed her face to his neck.

Gibbs held her close and fought against the emotions that we threatening to overcome him. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. So instead he pressed his lips to the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair.

Abby was the first to pull away, sitting back far enough to get a good look at Gibbs, cupping his face in her hands. "I'm sorry, I should have gone for help. If I had gone to a hospital, you would have found me."

"You were confused, not your fault." He brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"I know, but I mean…you guys were having my funeral." It suddenly dawned on her that he had been upset enough to be physically sick over losing her and it felt like punch to the stomach, the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Time for bed," a nurse came in a looked over her chart, "visiting hours are over."

"No," Abby wrapped her hands around his, "can he stay, just until I'm asleep?"

"I'm afraid not, but he can come back first thing tomorrow. Hospital rules. And judging by your chart, you're only here overnight for observation, so it'll only be one night."

"I'll be back," Gibbs pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. "Sleep well, Abbs."

* * *

TBC..


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Gibbs wasn't sure how he managed to make it home before his eyes began to burn and tears slipped down his cheeks. He headed down to the basement, set on downing the last of the bourbon, but as he reached the bottled he pushed it aside, the idea of drinking sending another wave of nausea through him.

He stood for a long time, taking deep breaths to push away the feeling of being sick. Then he dropped to the floor and rested his head in his hands. "Oh Shan," he let out a shuddering sigh. "I wouldn't have made it through this time." Over the past week he had felt Shannon's presence stronger than ever, as if she was trying to ease the pain. He hadn't felt her much when Mike had died, but Abby had been in the basement lending quiet support as he worked. She had made sure he took breaks to eat and she had kept his coffee cup filled. "I love you, always will, but Abby… she's been my rock for ten years now, without her I'd… I'd have pulled the trigger this time."

"Promise me that you won't," Abby interrupted and stepped down the basement steps. "If something happens to me again… you mean too much to too many people."

"Abbs…" He looked up sharply; he hadn't heard her come in.

"I checked myself out and took a cab. I couldn't remember your house number, but I could direct the driver on where to go. I didn't want to be alone, I'm trying to figure out these memories." She stepped off the bottom step and circled around the sawhorses in the middle of the room to join Gibbs on the floor, their backs against the work bench. As soon as she was beside him, he raised his arm and she leaned against him, pulling his arm tight around her shoulders. "Think of what would have happened if you had… done something drastic and then three days from now, a week from now… a month from now, I remembered everything. What do you think I would have…" she shook her head, not wanting to continue that thought.

Gibbs tucked her into his side and kissed her temple.

"I asked… before I remembered, I asked if we were, um, together. I asked because… while I don't exactly remember everything, I somehow knew that I love you. Even if I didn't _know_. And I wasn't sure how you felt, but the way you look at me, the way you took my hand. It just fit."

Gibbs moved to cup her cheek in his hand. "Can I kiss you?" he murmured, his eyes tracing over the delicate lines of her face.

Things were still fuzzy for Abby and she couldn't remember how long she had been waiting to hear those words, but she knew it had been awhile. Rather than respond with a _yes_, she leaned in to say yes with a kiss.

Their kiss was slow and gentle, and Abby could feel the tension slowly draining from Gibbs' body. He pulled her in closer and was content to sit on the floor, his arms wrapped around her as they kissed. Abby was the first to pull back, kicking herself for breaking contact, despite what she needed to say. "I really want to keep kissing you, but having spent a week sleeping on concrete and cardboard, sitting on the basement floor isn't the most comfortable."

Gibbs nodded and leaned forward to brush a feather light kiss across her lips before pushing up off the floor. He extended his hand and helped Abby to her feet. "You wanna head up to the couch, or you ready for bed?"

"I could really use a shower, actually. All I've had is a half-assed sponge bath in the hospital today. And then I'd really like to curl up with you in bed, if that's okay?" Abby followed him up the stairs and switched off the basement lights.

"Sounds perfect," Gibbs led her toward the stairs and out of the basement.

"Wait, is that… that stuff is mine, right? Bert!" She was drawn to the box of her belongings on his dining table and picked up the stuffed hippo, giving it a tight squeeze and laughing at the farting sound it made. She briefly poked around the rest of the items, commenting on a few, and then continued upstairs behind Gibbs.

"You've got some basic toiletries and a change of clothes stored in a duffle bag in my closet." He dropped her hand and went to dig it out. She had started keeping the basics at his house a few years ago when she found herself spending the night every few weeks for whatever reason. He handed her the duffle and ushered her toward the master bathroom. "Go, have your shower."

"You'll be here when I'm done?"

"Just gonna go lock up and take a quick spin in the shower across the hall. I'll be in bed before you're out."

"Okay." Abby carried her stuff into the bathroom and shut the door. Despite having told him she loved him and hoping that she'd be spending lots of time in his bed, taking a shower together was asking a bit much – especially with how dirty and grimy she felt. She dug out her shower supplies and pulled out clean underwear, and an old shirt of Gibbs' that she had stolen years ago to sleep in.

She spent more time than necessary in the shower, shampooing her hair twice and taking the time to scrub every inch of her body. She sighed as the warm water heated her tired muscles. When she was sure that Gibbs' water heater was about to run cold, she turned off the water and stepped out. Gibbs' towels weren't anything special, but they were soft. She wrapped one around her body and went to the counter to comb her hair. By the time she was dressed in underwear and his oversized shirt, her teeth brushed and her hair dry, she was certain he would be in bed already.

She nudged the door open, the steam and heat billowing out.

"Warm enough in there?" Gibbs was already tucked into the side of the bed closest to the door.

"Mmm… and I think I'm clean enough, too." Her clothes she put in a garbage bag she had dug out from under the sink. After a week on the streets they weren't worth salvaging. "But if you wake up alone, I'm probably showering again just to be sure."

Gibbs pulled back the covers and patted the bed. She grabbed Bert and slipped her legs under the covers as Gibbs leaned back to turn off the bedside lamp and then turned back toward Abby. As soon as she was settled and the blankets pulled up, Gibbs tugged her nearer and wrapped his arms around her and let out a heavy sigh.

"You okay?" Abby asked before pressing a kiss to his bare chest.

"I will be. Need a few days to wake up and see that you're still here before I really believe you're still alive. But I'll get there. You okay?"

"Yep. When I think too much, some details are fuzzy and that really frustrates me. But the rest of the memories will come. But I remember you and that's all I need to know to be okay."

"You'll remember, I'll do what I can to help."

"Tell me more, Gibbs," Abby curled into his side.

"More about what?"

"Us. Remind me of stuff we've done together. I remember stuff, but it's all so fuzzy. Like, I remember spending either Thanksgiving or Christmas with you, dinner at Ducky's, but…"

"We spent both together. Thanksgiving was at Ducky's. I wasn't planning on going, but you looked at me, your eyes wide," he brushed his thumb along her cheek, "and said, who will eat too much and then watch the game with me, and I knew I had to go."

"So you did, because of me?"

"Because of you. You weren't sure if I would show up, but you saved me a spot next to you. You were wearing a yellow dress with polka dots, and your hair was pulled up. You kept touching me during dinner – nothing uncomfortable or inappropriate, but you… you made me feel wanted, even though we were just friends. Kept telling me you were thankful that I was in your life," Gibbs opened up.

"You remember all that?"

Gibbs nodded and leaned in for a soft kiss. "That and so much more. I've always tried to remember everything you say and do, you mean everything to me."

"Tell me more," Abby pushed a leg between his and hugged herself closer, making Bert fart as he was trapped between them.

Gibbs tugged the stuff hippo from her arms and set it on the pillow behind her so that she could curl up against his chest. "Christmas, you spent a majority of the holiday with my dad and I. You wanted to cook, but Jack didn't think it was right for the guest to cook-"

Abby laughed, "but I did anyway and when we finally sat down to eat, he loved it all and asked me to move to Stillwater with him because you hadn't made a move yet. You blushed, and then got really irritated with him."

"Because I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I wasn't."

"Wasn't sure. Abbs, look at me," Gibbs waited until she was looking at him, partly propped up on his chest. "I remember it all. What you wore, said… the way you smell like gunpowder and lilacs. I should have told you sooner, I should have done _something_. I'm sorry."

"I could have said something; it's not just you…"

"I know, but I… I was going to have to spend the rest of my life wishing I'd said something."

"Shhh…" Abby peppered kisses across his face, over his eyelids and on the tip of his nose. "I'm back now and we're saying what needs to be said. No regrets."

Gibbs scrubbed a hand down over his face. He'd gone from overwhelming grief to holding Abby in his arms – he still wasn't 100% convinced he wasn't dreaming – all within hours and it was doing a number on his emotions.

"Hey, it's okay," she soothed, "I'm here, see," she held his hand to her chest so he could feel the beating of her heart against his palm. She could see him fighting against the tears that threatened to fall. She was about to tell him it was okay to let go, but he pulled her into another kiss and all thoughts fled from her mind.

Gibbs rolled her to her back and pressed her down into the mattress as his body covered her. His kisses were sloppy and desperate, but Abby didn't care. She wrapped her legs around him to keep him close, but suddenly he pulled away. "Abbs, I can't…"

At first she was concerned he was going to come up with some outlandish excuse, but then she realized that while his kisses had been urgent, his body had barely responded. The adrenaline coursing through his body the past several hours had left him beyond physically exhausted.

"S'ok," Abby shifted herself up a bit higher and then pulled him in close again so that his head rested on her shoulder and she was holding him.

"No, Abby," he protested vocally, though he didn't try to pull away.

"Let me hold you. Physically, I went through a lot, but I'm okay now. You're exhausted, let me hold you and keep you close."

"You need sleep, too," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I know, I'll sleep."

Gibbs let out a heavy sigh and tipped his head up to kiss the tip of her chin. "If you wake up and need to go to the bathroom… tell me. If I wake up and you're not here…"

"Okay," she wasn't going to argue. She ran her fingers through his silvery hair and tried to remember the last time she had seen him.

"_Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs!" Abby rushed out of her back office and threw her arms around him in a big hug. "You were right, Johnson wasn't murdered, he faked his death!" She released her hold on him and tugged him over to her computer and pulled up several photos of the man they were looking for._

"_That's good work, Abbs." Gibbs leaned in to kiss her cheek, his hand curling around her hip before falling away._

"_Was a lot of work, Gibbs. Might need an extra caf-pow!"_

"_Put it on my tab, I gotta run."_

"_Thanks Gibbs!"_

* * *

TBC..


	6. Chapter 6

Alright, alright kids… let's not get grabby hands. Here is a new chapter and a um, slight, rating change to M…

* * *

Abby woke with a start, unsure of where she was. Slowly everything came back to her, and the weight of Gibbs' body wrapped around hers was a welcome reminder that she was safe. She was a little unclear still on everything that had happened the past few days, but she had Gibbs, so she knew she would be okay. It was still dark, so she wanted to just close her eyes and go back to sleep, but her bladder had other ideas, so reluctantly she pushed the blanket away. Gibbs held tightly to her, and she remembered the sound of his voice as he told her to wake him if she needed to get up. "Gibbs," she whispered softly, stroking her fingers through his hair. "I need to use the bathroom."

Gibbs stirred and then mumbled something against her shoulder before letting go.

"I'll be right back," she got up and headed to the bathroom. As she opened the door again to head back to bed, Gibbs was there, yawning and scratching his chest. "Oh, I was hoping to climb back into bed with you."

Gibbs nodded. "I gotta hit the head, too. I'm not ready to get up yet either."

Abby placed a hand on the center of his chest and pressed up on her toes to kiss him, just because she could. She had been dreaming about him, the team and work. She was having trouble visualizing where her lab was in the building, but she could see the set-up of her lab clearly in her mind. Her dreams hadn't been particularly exciting, and she couldn't be sure if what she had dreamt had been actual memories, or just dreams, but being with him and her friends had left her in a good mood, even at o-dark-thirty. She moved back to the bed and climbed under the covers to the warm spot they had shared.

Gibbs was quick and soon sliding beneath the covers with her, his arms wrapping around her as she cupped his face in her hands to kiss him again. "You were in my dream," she said, as she pulled away, "the whole team was. We were in my lab and I was making cookies…"

Gibbs chuckled and pressed his nose to her cheek in a gentle nuzzle. "You make cookies in your lab every Christmas. Last year you made gingerbread cookies decorated like yourself. You tasted pretty sweet." He pushed his hand up the back of her shirt, his fingers splayed wide across her skin as he held her close. "Want you, Abbs. Need you now."

When he shifted closer, Abby was surprised to feel him hard against her hip. He nosed, nipped and kissed his way across her cheek, along her jaw, to her neck. "Need you more than I've ever needed anyone, ever," he confessed. Still he was concerned that the moment he opened his eyes, she'd be gone.

"I'm here," she sighed, wiggling out of her shirt as Gibbs fought against losing contact with her. As soon as her shirt was gone, Gibbs moved to her breasts, his mouth sealing over a taut nipple. Abby cradled his head to her chest and moaned as she slid her fingers through his soft hair. He gently used his teeth, sending a shiver down her spine, "God, Gibbs…"

No inch of her skin was left un-tasted as he nipped and kissed across her chest, occasionally leaning up to kiss her lips. "Can't ever lose you again, Abbs. Can't…"

"Not going anywhere, you've got me." She wrapped her legs around his waist and huffed out a breath against his ear as he thrust against her.

His hands slipped down her back, and into her underwear to cup her butt. She moved with him so he could work them over her hips and down her legs to be kicked away. "Wait… Gibbs, wait… we need, we need protection. I don't remember if I was on the pill before and in any case, I haven't for the past week and…"

Gibbs managed to tear himself away from her and turned to rummage through his bedside table. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had sex, so the likelihood of finding condoms in his drawer wasn't in his favor. "Shit…"

"Wait," suddenly she was out of bed and digging around through the bag of her stuff she had left at his place. She produced a box of condoms and tossed them to him with a smile. "I've been told to always be prepared."

"You kept condoms at my house?" Gibbs tore open the box and pulled a small packet out.

"I didn't think I'd ever use them, but… a girl can hope, right?" She watched as he pushed his sweats off and had the condom rolled on before she made it back to the bed. "In a hurry?"

"Now, Abby," he growled as he reached for her, tugging her back to the bed.

Abby collapsed over him and kissed him until he was relaxed below her. He was still hard and every so often his hips would jerk upward against her, but some of the tension in his upper body had dissipated. She didn't stop until he was kissing her like he wanted to kiss her, not because he was afraid to wake up and find it was all a dream.

"Abby," he whimpered when she finally moved from kissing his lips to his jaw, then neck.

"I'm here," she moaned when his hand slipped between them, his fingers seeking her hot core.

He smiled and pressed a kiss to her ear as she moaned and wiggled against his fingers as he sought out her clit. He wanted to spend hours discovering every inch of her – what made her shiver and twitch, what made her moan. He wanted to know what every freckle and tattoo tasted like, but for now he couldn't take the time. He pushed her onto her back and guided himself toward her heat.

Abby was quick to wrap her legs around his waist to hold him close. She raked her nails along his back as he pushed inside of her. When he was fully seated, he leaned up on his elbows to look down at her with a smile. Abby pulled him down for a kiss and bumped her hips up to make him move. They moved together, Abby moaning her encouragement and Gibbs groaning in pleasure.

Abby was on the fast track for finding release. She wanted to wait for Gibbs, but he was angled just right and the feel of his body over hers had her toes curling. "Gibbs…" She wasn't sure if she wanted him to slow or give her more or…

"Nggh, come on Abbs," he grunted and gritted his teeth. He was well aware that she was struggling on the edge and he wanted to be sure she was taken care of first.

Abby struggled to push him to the side and then to his back so she could straddle him. It was a constant struggle for Gibbs not to be completely in control as they both worked closer and closer to the edge. But Gibbs was quickly rewarded as Abby shuddered and cried out his name, her muscles rippling around him. He took advantage of her distraction and flipped them over again. He was careful not to crush her as he continued toward his own release. He dropped his head and muffled a loud moan against her neck as she wrapped her legs around him again and encouraged him with a purr.

He quickly found himself teetering on the edge, almost afraid to fall over in case _this _was the point where he woke from his dream.

"Gibbs," Abby whispered as they moved together, "I love you."

She had said it more than once, but now, after everything they had been through in the past week or so, those three little words had never meant so much to Gibbs as they did now. For years they had just been words – words he'd been expected to say to his first ex-wife, words he'd regretted saying to Diane and words he wanted to say to Stephanie, but never really could. He lost himself in the feeling of Abby – from where they were joined, to where her legs held him close and her arms held him even closer. He choked back what sounded like a sob and pressed a demanding kiss to her lips as he rode out the waves of pleasure coursing through his body.

He pulled back to brush her bangs from her face and smiled down at her. "I love you too, Abby." He couldn't remember the last time he had told anyone that he loved them. He hadn't even said to it Jack, just answered with a '_you too'_ when Jack had said it first. "Love you so much." Now that he'd said it, he wanted to keep telling her so that he had no doubts that she believed him.

"Mmm, you made that _very_ clear," Abby pulled him into another kiss, a bit slower than the previous one. "Let's get some more sleep before it gets to be too light out."

Gibbs rolled away to remove the condom and toss it in the trash. He grabbed clean boxers from the drawer as Abby slipped her underwear back on, and they met in the middle to curl up together once again. He pushed a leg over hers in a possessive gesture and smiled against her shoulder when she seemed to shrink back against him so that he was covering most of her body with his own.

* * *

A high-pitched shrill startled them both awake. Gibbs reached for his cell phone after double-checking that it was Abby still curled in his arms and answered with a curt _Gibbs._

"Boss!" Tony sounded breathless on the other end of the line. "I came to bring her breakfast and the nurse said she checked herself out ADA and they've no idea where she went, she's gone!"

"Easy, DiNozzo," Gibbs sat up against the headboard and ran his fingers through Abby's hair as she snuggled into the pillow. "She's here. She checked herself out and came here, she's okay."

"Oh," Tony's sigh of relief was audible through the phone. "She awake? Can I come over?"

"No, not now. How about for lunch. Give her a chance to wake up when she's ready and relax before she's faced with a bunch of people."

"Yeah, okay. I'll call McGee, Ziva and Ducky. We can bring some food. I'll call around noon to make sure that it's okay to come over."

"Sounds good." Gibbs hung up and pushed his phone back on the nightstand.

"I'm already awake, why'd you tell him I wasn't?" Abby let herself be pulled back into his arms as he stretched out beside her again.

"I'm not ready to share you yet, want to relax," he kissed her shoulder, "remind you that I love you," he trailed kisses up along her neck, "need a little more time before I have to share you."

"I'm starting to remember you as being a bit possessive, at work too, right?"

Gibbs frowned as he remembered trying to keep her from the FBI, the CIA and every other agency that has tried to poach her over the years. "Guess I've always thought of you as mine, and I don't share."

"I've gotta have other friends…"

"No, I know. Not like that… you've made a name for yourself in the science community. Other agencies like to throw bigger paychecks at you, worried you'll decide to take it one day."

"Gibbs," Abby turned and cupped his cheek in her hand. "We've been working together for how long? If I wanted a bigger check, I'd have gone elsewhere long ago."

"I know, you've told me that every time you have dinner with the FBI, doesn't make me worry any less. Though I tend to do a good job of hiding it," he confessed. He struggled with opening up so much, but he knew he had been handed a rare second shot with Abby and he wasn't about to ruin it by closing her out.

"I want you to tell me how you feel. I… things are still… fuzzy, and if I do something wrong, or you're upset, you have to tell me, okay? I don't want you to sit and quietly be mad at me, I just want to know so I can fix it."

"Not mad," he shifted so that he was covering her body with his. He leaned down to kiss her softly and nibbled at her lower lip. "It's my own jealousy I need to deal with."

"Trust me, nothing to be jealous of." Abby ran her hands down his back and cupped his ass. "But if we're going to spend the morning alone… maybe we could spend it naked?"

A slow grin spread across his face. "We could maybe do that."

* * *

TBC..


	7. Chapter 7

Yes! I'm on the interwebs again! Some internet issues the past few days, but I'm a.) home again and b.) online. Yay! Loving the response to this so far – thank you!

* * *

Abby smoothed down her skirt and adjusted her shirt for the third time as she stood in front of the full length mirror.

"You look fine, like yourself, don't worry." Gibbs pressed a kiss to the back of her head.

"I just feel like something is missing…"

"You look perfect to me, but at work you normally have your hair up," he moved his fingers along her scalp and held up her hair in two, somewhat sloppy pigtails.

"Right!" Abby reached for a brush and some hair ties from her duffle bag and set to work. It was as if her fingers remembered what to do and within minutes she was looking and feeling like her old self. "Thanks Gibbs!"

Tony had called at noon to double check that Abby was up to visitors and to ask what she felt like eating for lunch. She couldn't name anything off the top of her head as to what she wanted, so Tony had said he would bring a selection of items. Now at 1pm on the dot, Tony was ringing the doorbell with Ziva, McGee and Ducky in tow, all carrying big grocery bags.

"Hey guys," Abby smiled warmly as they carried their good to the kitchen.

Tony was the first to set his stuff down and make it back to Abby. "It's okay to hug you, right?"

"Of course!" Abby wrapped her arms around Tony's neck and hugged him hard, and laughed as he lifted her off the floor.

"We really missed you, a lot. Wasn't sure what I'd do without my best friend."

When her feet touched the ground again, Abby moved her arms to around his waist and snuggled into another hug. "I'm sorry, I wish I had remembered, or at least gone for help."

"It's all over now, but maybe we could put a tracking device in your arm or something. You know, just in case. Nothing big or anything, but-"

"Okay Tony, move over," Ziva nudge him away so she could hug Abby. It was rare for her to initiate a hug, though she had long ago learned to accept them from Abby, but like Gibbs, this was a second chance to be with her friend, so she pulled Abby into a brief, but tight hug. "I am glad you're back."

"Thanks Ziva, I'm happy to be back too." She smiled at her friend and then turned to hug McGee and finally Ducky. "I wish I had followed with my first instinct to find a doctor, instead of going to the free clinic so far away."

"Can't change it now, we're just glad you're okay. Tony tells me that you checked yourself out against doctor's orders."

"They only wanted me in for one night and I didn't want to be alone. Plus, I was already checked by a doctor and all my bumps and bruises are just about gone. Waste of time to stay in the hospital."

Gibbs moved away to poke into the grocery bags to see what needed preparing. They had decided on a BBQ and picked up chicken, beef and hotdogs – a little bit of everything. "I'll get the grill going."

Ducky turned and nodded, "I'll get the meat ready."

The rest of the group headed to the kitchen to prep the salads, though Tony directed Abby to a seat, insisting that she rest. "So how much do you remember?"

Abby shrugged. "I'm not sure. I mean, I vaguely remember everything as far as bigger events. It's the smaller details that are fuzzy. We were talking about work earlier, and it's like I can remember exactly what my lab looks like, but I was trying to remember how to get there."

"I think you will remember," Ziva encouraged. "I think it will be like riding a bike. You will get to the building and just _know_ where to go."

"I hope so," Abby nodded.

"You remember the boss' rules?"

Abby cocked her head to the side. "Rules?"

Tony nodded, "I'm sure they'll come back to you, I'd give you a list, but don't think they've ever been written down. Stuff like, never mess with a Marine's coffee, never let suspects stay together, never date a coworker, always wear gloves at a crime scene."

"Sounds vaguely familiar, is he strict with these rules?" She asked casually.

"No doubt he'll go easy on you. Most of 'em don't really pertain to you since you're out in the field like we are, and you have to wear gloves for all your tests anyway. Don't worry, you'll pick 'em up in no time."

"You're right," Abby forced a smile and then looked away. If he was so strict with his rules, like _never date a coworker_, that meant that that either weren't taking this relationship any further – that it had all been about his grief. And if he really did love her and things were to continue, it meant he knew she wasn't getting her job back but wasn't saying anything.

"Hey, you okay?" Gibbs walked back in carrying an empty plate that the meat had been on. "Is it too much? They won't be offended if you need to go rest." Gibbs handed the plate to Ziva and went to kneel in front of her.

"No, I'm okay, I was just thinking. How long until lunch is ready?"

Gibbs' brow furrowed and he stood again and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "About five minutes, should we eat in the backyard or would you prefer to stay inside?"

"Outside would be nice." She got up and went to the kitchen to grab plates, utensils and napkins. "What?" She paused when she realized that Gibbs was staring at her.

"Nothing," he shook his head. "You just walked right to where everything was without asking where to find it."

Abby looked down at the stuff in her hands. "It's when I do things automatically that I remember more easily. When I think about things ahead of time, I start to doubt myself."

"You'll remember soon enough," Tony leaned in to press a kiss to her temple and then nudged her out of the way as he reached for a big bowl for the salad he was working on.

"I know." She moved out of his way and carried plates, silverware and napkins to the table on Gibbs' back porch. "Hey Ducky."

"Abigail," Ducky turned away from the grill with a smile, "you look good despite having spent a week on the streets and the confusion of yesterday. I hope you were able to get a decent amount of sleep last night."

"I did," she nodded and set the plates around the table. "Nice to sleep in a real bed, makes me want to do more for those who are truly homeless. Sleeping on cardboard behind a building isn't exactly comfortable."

"No, I'm quite certain it isn't."

"I meant to ask Gibbs earlier, but… what about my stuff? My apartment? Do I still have that?"

Ducky thought for a moment, "I believe your friend Carol had started to box things up, but I don't believe any of the furniture has been cleared out yet. We were down in Louisiana and then preparing for yesterday, so she hasn't had much time."

"I just hate that everyone had to go through this while I was only a few miles away."

"Well I can't say that it was easy, but nothing we can do to change it. But we're all so relieved to have you back, especially Jethro."

"I just feel guilty," Abby shrugged. "Like now people are so worried about me going away again, something happening, that maybe they are saying or doing things because they feel like they have to."

Ducky frowned. "No one is saying anything they wouldn't have willingly told you to your face before this whole mess, what makes you say that?" He flipped the meat and went to sit beside her at the table.

"I don't know, it's nothing specific, but… the way everyone has acted… it's like they all think I'm so perfect, and I'm not. I don't remember everything, but I know I'm not perfect and…"

"And you're worried that you won't live up to their expectations if you don't remember exactly what things were like beforehand?" He was willing to bet it also had to do with the budding romantic relationship between her and Gibbs, but he didn't want to approach that topic until Abby was ready.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Just be yourself, Abigail, that's all you can do. The rest will fall into place." Ducky looked up when the backdoor opened and Gibbs came out, followed by the rest of the team carrying various salads, bread and stuff to drink.

"Everything okay out here?"

"Yep, just… trying to remember stuff."

Gibbs frowned when she turned back toward the table and he looked to Ducky, "we need a few spoons to dish things up," he gave him a meaningful glance and the two headed inside. "What's wrong with her?" Gibbs asked as soon as they were inside and the door was shut.

"Nothing is _wrong_, she's just adjusting. She just worried that she's not quite the same Abby that everyone remembers and wants her to be. It's to be expected, she'll likely have high and lows for a couple weeks, maybe even months to come. I've no doubt Vance will want her to see someone quite regularly for a bit before she is back at work fulltime, but it would be good for her to spend time at NCIS and let things come back naturally. And don't ask her if she remembers; perhaps remind her of some of your favorite memories by commenting on something you remember and leave it like that. She's openly admitted that when she tries to remember things it's harder than when it just comes naturally."

"I know, Duck. I don't want her to feel pressured to remember things."

"Good," Ducky grabbed a few serving spoons and they headed back out. The team was already seated with Tony on one side of Abby and Ziva on the other. McGee was across from her leaving a spot next to McGee and a spot at the head of the table opposite Tony. Gibbs had this natural urge to want to be close to her, but when he say her laughing at something Ziva had said and holding onto Tony's hand, he smiled at the sight and took a seat opposite Tony as Ducky sat beside McGee.

He kept an eye on her all through lunch, but she seemed to enjoy herself, asking questions to clarify things she wasn't sure of, and listening as Ducky shared stories from his past, many that Gibbs had never heard before.

It was well past five before everything was picked up and their visitors were saying goodbye and heading out the door.

"That was nice," Gibbs commented as he put the last of the leftovers in a container for the fridge.

"Mm hmm," Abby poured herself a glass of water and stood staring out the kitchen window.

"Abby…?" Gibbs wiped his hands on the kitchen town and moved behind her to wrap his arms around her middle and nuzzle against the side of her neck, but the moment she tensed, he backed off. "Abbs?"

"Are you sure you love me? That _this_... us… is okay?" She turned slowly to look at him.

He could tell she was fighting against any show of emotion, but it was easy to see the fear and worry in her eyes. "Abby, what would make you question that?" He thought he had been very clear earlier in the morning.

"Tony was reminding me of your rules and rule-"

"Says to never date a coworker, I know. But did he also remind you of rule 51?"

Abby shook her head. "But if rule 12 doesn't apply to us… is it because I won't get my job back? Am I fired from NCIS?"

Gibbs moved close again and wrapped her up in a hug. "You'll have your job when you're ready. I don't know when that will be, but I think Vance will want you to see someone, a shrink or something to talk about what happened. And he wants to be sure you still know what you're doing." Abby started to talk again, but Gibbs quieted her and continued. "And rule 51 is _sometimes you're wrong_. Don't worry about rule 12."

Abby snuggled against him and mumbled against his chest. "I don't know how I'll ever remember all your rules."

Thinking for a minute, Gibbs grabbed her hand and gave a little tug. "Come with me," he urged.

Abby followed him up the stairs to the guest room and sat on the bed as Gibbs rummaged through the closet. Eventually he returned with a small wooden box that she had never seen before – at least not that she could remember. "What's this? Have I seen it before?"

"No," Gibbs shook his head, "no one has ever seen it." He sat beside her and lifted the lid. He looked down at the contents for a minute and then handed the box to her. "I've written them all down here, the rules. A few other things I've saved in here," he picked up a photo of Shannon on horseback, "but mostly just the rules. Maybe being able to read them will help you to remember."

Abby looked at the photo he had picked up. "Where was this taken?"

Gibbs was shocked that she asked. It wasn't that he minded, but before Abby had tread very lightly when it came to Shannon and Kelly, and now she wasn't as hesitant.

"I took the girls out to the beach for a few days before I left the last time. We stayed in an old airstream, rode horses and made food over an open fire. Shannon made friends with a camper who happened to be a photographer and offered to take photos for us. I found them in an envelope in the mail when I returned for their funeral. The film had gotten lost and the photographer had just gotten around to getting them developed and had no idea that the girls had died."

"Gibbs… you don't have to share all this…"

"I know," he leaned over to kiss her forehead, "but I want too. I know it's not easy for you right now, but I don't want to make things more difficult by you worrying what you can and can't ask."

Abby turned her attention away from the photos and picked up a small scrap of paper. "Never mess with a Marine's coffee…" She tilted her head to look at him with a grin. "As if anyone would even consider touching your coffee."

"Lot of stupid people out there, Abbs." He leaned in to kiss the side of her head again. "I'm going to go finish cleaning up and get the dishwasher going."

Abby nodded and watched him go before scooting further back on the bed and spreading the rules out over the sheets in numerical order. She was determined to remember them all.

* * *

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

Hey, sorry for the delay! I've been having issues with ff the past few days. Argh. Third time trying to post – fingers crossed it works!

* * *

By the time bed time rolled around, Gibbs was content to find himself curled up on the couch with Abby as she flipped channels. He wasn't interested on watching anything other than Abby, but the steady stream of chatter coming from the TV was relaxing and reminded him of simpler, easier times. Shannon loved to watch TV before bed and he would tease her endlessly – torn between wanting to spend time with her or escape to the basement while she watched her favorite shows. But now there was no decision to be made, he was just happy to run his fingers through her hair and soak up the weight of her body against his.

"You working tomorrow?" Abby tilted her head back to look at him over her shoulder.

"No," Gibbs shook his head. "Told Vance I was going to take a few days off."

"I'm happy to spend time with you, but I don't need a babysitter."

"I know," he leaned in to kiss her cheek, "just want to be with you. Had so many regrets, things I didn't say or do. Need to do something about that."

"Well, even if you aren't working, can we maybe go to NCIS for a little bit? I know you said Vance won't let me work yet, but do you think I could be in my lab for a little bit?"

Gibbs nodded. "I could probably get some paperwork done if you want to spend some time around the office. Lots of people will want to see you, talk to you. You up to that?"

"Mmm, I can't exactly just ignore people. They are expecting me to come in at some point, right? I just want things to be relaxed and normal again as soon as possible. And I need to talk to Carol about my stuff, clothes and whatever."

Gibbs tensed at the mention of her stuff. He didn't know what Carol had planned on doing with everything, and he doubted she had done anything yet. But if her apartment was still the way it had been, he didn't want Abby to feel like she had to go home alone. In fact, he was hoping she'd decide to call his place home. But he wasn't sure how or when to ask. What if she needed to be in her apartment to help with her memories? What if she thought moving in with him was moving too quickly, regardless of what had happened? "Let's not worry about it now," he fought a yawn, "nothing we can do until tomorrow anyway."

"I'll call Carol in the morning. You have her phone number, right? I, uh… don't remember it."

"I've got it saved in my phone, but for tonight..." he leaned forward and nipped at her ear, "you're all mine."

"Gibbs!" Abby squirmed away from him and turn with a grin.

"Okay, okay," he held his hands up in mock surrender. "But it's getting late, let's get to bed," again he fought another yawn. Despite having actually slept, he had woken several times to check that she was real.

Abby was up first and pulled him to his feet. Everything was already locked up or put away, so all they had to do was turn off the lights and head upstairs. They had both showered earlier before the team had arrived, so their bedtime routines were quick. Gibbs stepped out of the bathroom to find Abby already under the covers. "You look tired" He pulled back the covers and eased himself in next to her.

"Yeah, just trying to remember everything has my head feeling a little foggy, I guess." She snuggled in close when Gibbs flipped off the light and turned toward her. "Was today too much for you? Having everyone at your house?"

"Nah, was fine. Good for them to see you and spend time with you. And I can't keep you completely for myself."

Abby laughed, "but you've got me to yourself now." She threaded her fingers up through his hair and pulled him into a kiss. She moved onto her back as he pushed himself over her, never breaking their kiss. He kissed her back until they were both breathless and then moved to nuzzle her neck, dropping occasional kisses to the soft skin where her neck and shoulder met.

When Abby released a jaw-popping yawn, Gibbs move off of her and tugged her in close. "We should get some sleep, you need the rest."

"Mmhmm." She was asleep within minutes.

Gibbs held her close and focused on warmth of her body as he once against worked to reassure himself that it wasn't a dream. He pressed another kiss to her forehead and smiled as she mumbled something against his chest and tightened her hold on him. It wasn't long before he found himself being lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sound of her breathing.

"_She's dead, Gibbs. Get over it," Vance pushed a file across the desk. "They've got her body down in the morgue, tell Ducky to get to it when he can, we've got the FBI hounding us for the Samuels case, so be sure to have that on my desk as soon as you're finished."_

_Gibbs shook his head, "she's not dead… she can't be."_

"_Oh for Christ's sake, go take a look if you must. But wallowing in your grief will get you nowhere."_

_Gibbs raced out of Vance's office and took the stairs down to Ducky. "Duck…"_

"_Oh Jethro, Vance said you might be bringing in more bodies…"_

"_Abby!"_

"_Oh yes, terrible loss, isn't it? Nothing much could have been done to save her, so it's probably for the-"_

"_Where is she?" Gibbs cut him off._

"_Hmm? Oh, Abby?" Ducky looked at the far autopsy table and gave a quick nod of his head, "she's there."_

_Gibbs rushed over and took a deep breath before pulling the zipper on the body bag down, "she's not here, Duck."_

"_Hmm? Oh…" Ducky walked over and looked into the empty bag. "Perhaps she was left behind on accident? Or did the medics take her to the hospital morgue? You'd have to ask Mr. Palmer, I don't quite remember. But as I was saying, Vance…"_

Gibbs fought his way to consciousness and finally opened his eyes. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he was in bed and Abby was still curled into his side, sleeping peacefully. He glanced at the clock beside the bed to see that he'd only been asleep for a few hours. He tensed when Abby moved, but she only shifted closer and mumbled against his chest before settling again. He threaded his fingers through her hair and settled back to wait for morning to come.

* * *

Abby tapped her fingers nervously against her knees as Gibbs drove them toward NCIS. She kept telling herself that things would come naturally, and if they didn't, Gibbs was right there to help her through. But she couldn't help but worry. Would she remember what to do to check in with security? Did she remember where her lab was? Everyone's names?

"Abbs, you doin' alright?"

Abby looked up and saw that they were parked in the parking garage. "Um, yeah. I'm just nervous, but I'll be okay."

Gibbs nodded and the got out and circled around to open the door for her.

Abby grinned at him as she got out. "I do remember that you like to be a gentleman and open doors for the ladies."

Gibbs felt his ears burn as he rolled his eyes and then shut the door behind her.

Abby could feel his demeanor change as they stepped inside the building. His hand tightened around hers, his shoulders stiffened and he stood right beside her, their shoulders nearly touching.

"Hey Abby, it's good to see you," the security guard stepped forward to take her bag.

Abby was hesitating on his name, but he was wearing a nametag so she cheated. "Hey Jason, it's good to be back." She dropped Gibbs' hand as she went through the metal detector and waited until Gibbs joined her on the other side. He picked up her hand again and they walked to the elevator. "Third floor, right?"

Gibbs nodded and pushed the button.

They hit the squad room and Abby hesitated three steps out of the elevator. "Abbs, you okay?" Gibbs gave her hand a squeeze.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm okay. Just… remembering," she smiled and stepped forward, dropping Gibb's hand when Tony jumped up from his desk and hurried around to hug her. She gasped when Tony wrapped his arms around her middle and lifted her off the ground. "Tony!"

"What?" He grinned, "it's just so good to see you back at NCIS, even if it's just a visit today."

"It's good to be here," she hugged him back and then smiled at Ziva as she approached for a brief hug. McGee was next, and the entire time she was with the team, various others from around the office came over for a quick hug, a pat on the back and a hello.

"Ready to go to your lab?"

"Yep," Abby followed Gibbs to the back elevators. "I'll be back up to say goodbye before we leave. Be good!" Abby was nervous during the ride down. "So, it doesn't look exactly the same, because my personal stuff isn't there, right?"

Gibbs nodded as the elevator doors opened. "We'll get your stuff back in here when you're ready to start again." Together they headed for the lab.

"Baker," Gibbs growled, "this is Abby…"

The new replacement turned from the computer to look at Abby. "Wait, what… I thought you were, well, dead."

"Nope, just a little accident, I'll be good as new in no time," she said cheerfully.

"Vance will keep you up-to-date on when Abby is ready to return."

"So I've lost my job?"

Gibbs stood a little straighter. "I'm sure Vance will assign you elsewhere, either in our agency or loan you out to another. This is Abby's lab," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Kevin looked at Abby for a moment and turned back to the computer, shaking his head. "Didn't like this place anyway."

Abby ignored the tension and moved around the lab, looking at all her old machines, stopping at one she remembered to be her favorite. "Major Mass Spec…"

"That old piece of crap?" Kevin asked. "That doesn't work; I'm waiting for a tech to come take a look."

"Nah, the Major has always been a little picky," Abby pulled off the back panel and wiggled a few wires. "Mostly he just needs a little extra love and attention and an occasional little wiggle." She replaced the panel in the back and then watched as the display screen lit up. "See?"

Gibbs watched as Abby worked with her beloved machine and then dropped a little love-pat to the top before moving on. He didn't fight the smile spread across his face as she again, moved around the lab reminding herself what her machines did, how to use them and all their little quirks. "Okay," Abby returned to his side, "I think I'm ready to go again. Can we see Ducky?"

"Mmhmm…" Gibbs placed his hand on her lower back and turned her toward the door. With a last glance at Baker, they left her lab. He wanted to ask if her lab was just like she remembered – with the exception of her personal belongings, but he remembered Ducky's suggestion to avoid asking her if she remembered things and instead offering one of his memories. "I think you've sweet-talked that mass spectrometer into working more times than I could ever count."

Abby nodded as they stepped back into the elevator. "We all work faster with a soft touch, imagine what Tony could do…"

"I think he's beyond a little pet, a slap seems to work well. But you… does that mean I can come to the lab, give you a little _soft touch_ and get my results faster?"

Abby laughed and bumped his shoulder with hers. "I don't know about _faster_, but you can give it a try…"

The doors opened and they stepped out and followed the sound of Ducky's happy humming. "Hey Duck," Gibbs greeted.

"Jethro! Abigail! Lovely that you two decided to stop by. Mr. Palmer is out running errands, so I've a few minutes to spare. Tea?"

"I'm fine," Gibbs looked to Abby.

"I…" Abby hesitated.

"Abbs?"

"I'm okay," she assured him. "I just… I don't know, something sparked a memory… Um, no tea for me, thanks. We just wanted to say a quick hello. Gibbs?"

Gibbs was thrown off by her sudden urge to leave, moments after arriving. "You ready?"

Abby gave a quick nod. "It's good to see you again, Ducky."

Ducky hugged her and looked at Gibbs, confusion on his face. "Take care, my darling. I will see you again soon."

As soon as they were back in the elevator, Abby was in Gibbs' arms. "Take me home."

* * *

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Abby?" Gibbs held her tight and rubbed his hand soothingly up and down her back.

Shaking her head, Abby pressed her face to his chest. "Just take me home."

"You okay to go through the squad room and say goodbye to the team, or should we head back down and take the stairs?"

"I'm okay," Abby pulled away, straightened up and wiped at the tears collecting in the corner of her eyes. In an instant she looked fine and Gibbs was amazed at the sudden transformation. They hit the squad room and Abby smiled as the team came in to view. "I'm headed out guys, just a little tired and could use a nap." She hugged each of them tight. "I'll see you again soon, maybe tomorrow."

She accepted their hugs, but Gibbs could tell she was distracted. He couldn't figure out what had thrown her off – if it had been autopsy, or something he had said…

They walked hand in hand out to his car and she smiled weakly as he opened the door for her. He wanted to ask what had bothered her, but decided to wait until they were back at his place. The drive was quiet and Gibbs' itched to reach out and touch her, but she looked tense and he wasn't sure if his touch would be welcome.

He drove as quickly and carefully as possible and with a little luck and no red lights, they were home before long. He hurried around to open the door for her and then nudged her up the front step as he followed along behind her. Once the door was shut and locked and their jackets hung in the closet, Gibbs reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. "What's goin' on, Abbs? What's got you so spooked?"

Abby turned to him, visibly struggling with her emotions. "I… I remembered Kate and Jenny and… and Mike. All of them were down in autopsy, and it hit me like a ton of bricks and… and… I don't remember if I like tea," she sobbed, falling against his chest when he pulled her into a hug.

"Ah hell, Abbs. I should've asked about them before bringing you down there." He pressed a few gentle kisses to the side of her head as she cried. "Still gets to me too, sometimes." He held her until her sobs became sniffles and then her sniffles became an occasional hitched breath. "And for the record," he added, "you're not a big fan of tea, but you like the way Ducky makes it."

"Okay," she smiled and wiped away the tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Come on, its past lunch time. Let's get some food into you and then maybe a nap is a good idea."

"Okay," together they headed for the kitchen. "Will you lay down with me?"

"Course." He hadn't slept much the night before, so an hour or two napping would do him some good. Together they made sandwiches and Abby pulled together a fruit salad and before long they were headed up to his room. Abby changed into one of his old shirts and he stripped down to his boxers and they settled together in the center of the bed.

"Should be set an alarm?"

"Nah, your body needs lots of rest, so if you sleep long it's because your body needs it."

"Okay. Gibbs?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you remind me about Kate?"

Gibbs nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You two were the best of friends, always doing girly… _shit_ together." He smiled when Abby giggled softly and nuzzled against his chest. "Getting your toes done or spa stuff. You two were always going off on a spa weekend or to yoga. She liked to draw and you were always asking her to draw stuff for you, couple times I had to drag her out of the lab to get you both to focus. You still have a drawing she did of you as a bat, it's in that box downstairs…" he continued to tell her stories until her breathing slowed and evened out. With Abby peacefully asleep, it was his turn to try to relax.

"_Boss, there are plenty of forensic scientists out there, just pick one!" Tony argued. "I'm tired of you moping around, none of us are getting any work done!"_

"_DiNozzo!"_

"_What? I get it, you're sad. But being sad won't bring her back, just like it won't bring Shannon and Kelly back. Get over it!"_

Gibbs startled awake and glanced at the clock. It had only been forty-five minutes and Abby was still asleep. Sighing, Gibbs settled back to wait while she slept. There was no point in trying to sleep again, he was tired, but he was more tired of the nightmares that seemed to plague him every time he closed his eyes. The afternoon sun faded into darkness as evening and night rolled in. He was able to lose himself in the good memories – the team dinners, bowling with Abby and the nuns. Every time Abby shifted, he lifted his head to check if she was awake, but as she continued to sleep, he relaxed again, content to hold her in his arms.

"Gibbs..?" Abby's sleepy voice interrupted one of his more favorite memories – Christmas with both his father and Abby.

"Yeah?"

"What time is it, looks like it's getting dark."

Gibbs turned to the bedside clock and chuckled. "It's not getting dark, it's getting to be light. Nearly five am."

"What?" Abby lifted her head to look at the clock as well. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Gibbs shrugged. "You needed the sleep."

"But it was like… 3 in the afternoon. That's… fourteen hours! Oh God, I've gotta pee!" Abby threw the covers back and rushed for the master bathroom. Gibbs was quick out of bed and headed across the hall to the bathroom. As he was heading back to the bedroom, Abby was headed out. He reached out and caught her around the middle, pulling her in close and making her laugh. "Gibbs!"

He stumbled backward, pulling her with, until his legs hit the bed and he pulled her down with him. As soon as she was on the mattress beside him, he rolled over her and nipped at her earlobe.

"God, Gibbs…" she moaned.

"Need you, Abbs." He nuzzled her cheek and then kissed along her jaw.

"All yours," she gasped when his hand slid inside her underwear and his middle finger slipped between her folds. He kissed her hard as he toyed with her clit and then sucked at her lower lip. She rode his fingers hard until she knew she wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer. "Wait, Gibbs… wait…" she pulled his hand out of her underwear. "Together…"

Gibbs shook his head, "let me do this for you, let me…" he tugged her underwear down and slipped his fingers back inside her. He held her close, his kisses deep and demanding, as he worked her nearer to her orgasm.

"Gibbs!" She arched off the bed and clutched his arm, "I can't…"

Instead of answering her, Gibbs flicked her clit again with his thumb, and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. He could feel her tense and tremble around his fingers and again she arched off the bed, crying out his name as she came.

Gathering her into his arms, Gibbs held her as she began to relax again. He was beyond exhausted after so many nights with little to no sleep, and nightmares most every night. He had hoped that they would go away now that she was back, but he was still plagued with bad dreams keeping him awake most of the night.

"I always knew we were connected," she turned in his arms and tapped his forehead. "It's like you just know how to touch me, like you know just what I need."

"Mm," Gibbs kissed the tip of her nose. "You tend to give some pretty clear signs as to what you like."

Abby laughed, "ever stop to think that maybe I just like _you_?" This time she was the aggressor, and she pushed herself over him and straddled his waist. "And weren't you saying that you _needed_ me… you've still got your boxers on. How can you get what you need while you're still dressed?"

"I think we figured things out for you fairly well, and you're still dressed."

Abby thought for a moment and then pulled her shirt off. "Well, we can fix that, too." She moved off of him and slipped out of her underwear as Gibbs pushed his boxers down over his hips. Abby reached for a condom on the nightstand and then moved to sit between his legs. "Hmm… where to start?"

"Abbs," he growled. He had calmed down after giving her what she needed, but now that they were both naked and she was sitting between his legs, there was familiar warmth pooling in his stomach.

"Don't growl at me, let me have my fun. I promise you'll enjoy it," she gave a cheeky grin and leaned over him for a quick kiss. She almost found herself lost in the kiss, but pulled away and refocused on his body. She licked and nipped her way down his chest, moving her hands up his sides as she paid attention to his stomach. His muscles tensed and relaxed under her touch and she could tell he was having a hard time just lying there. She trailed her kisses even further south until his hard dick nudged her chin.

"Abby!" He struggled to sit up at the sudden contact, but Abby just pushed him back down and nibbled her way over his hip.

"Hmm?" She glanced up at him as she took him in hand. "Were you saying something?"

"You're a tease… yeah, just like that…" his hand covered hers and increased her speed a fraction. "God, Abby!"

Abby twisted her hand and brushed her palm over the tip of his cock before leaning over to take him between her lips. She fought the urge to giggle as Gibbs struggled with his control. For a man that was so in control over everything, including his body, it was funny to see him come apart so easily. "Ah ah," she pulled away a few minutes later with a smile, as he groaned and growled about being close, "we're not going to end this so quickly."

"Abbs..." The exasperation in his voice was comical and Abby almost felt bad for him.

Slowly she kissed her way back up over his stomach, his chest and neck before finally giving in to his attempts to kiss her.

He thrust up against her in search of any friction he could find. "Abby, please."

"You must be quite desperate if you're already saying please… you feel okay?" She brushed the back of her hand across his forehead. "Hmm, I dunno… you feel a little sweaty," she pretended to think for a moment, "maybe we should slow down."

With quick precision, he switched their positions. It was all a blur and suddenly Abby was the one unable to string much of a coherent thought together. "_Oh, _Gibbs!"

This time it was Gibbs that grinned. He lowered his head and nipped at her lower lip, sucking it between his as he thrust in to her again and again. "So good, Abbs. You feel so good."

"More Gibbs, more!" Abby arched and twisted below him, crying out as he reached between them to brush his fingers over her clit. She pushed his hand away as she reached her orgasm, calling out for him over and over, her body slowly relaxing as Gibbs' need took over and his thrusts faltered and he came with a load groan.

"I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to move," Abby sighed happily.

"Am I too heavy?" Gibbs started to move off of her, but stopped when her legs wrapped around him to keep him in place.

"Nah, you're fine. I like the way you feel. But despite having slept for so long… I could almost nap again."

"We have no plans, if you want to sleep some more we can set the alarm for an hour or two and rest."

"You'll stay and snuggle with me?"

"Where else would I be?"

"I dunno," Abby half shrugged under him, "but if you've been here the whole time, you must be wide awake and ready to get up."

Gibbs distracted her with another kiss. She didn't need to know that while he had indeed spent the entire evening and night with her, he hadn't had more than two hours of sleep. "I'm staying in bed if you're staying in bed." Slowly he moved off of her and pulled her into his side. Within minutes he was sound asleep, no nightmare in sight.

TBC..


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

For three days their routine continued. They ventured further and further into NCIS, spending more time getting stuff done on their visits – Gibbs helping Tony and the team while Abby talked to the NCIS shrink Vance brought in. Abby was especially tired at the end of the day, so they headed to bed early. Gibbs would catch an hour or two before the nightmares rolled in. He would wake, check that Abby was still sleeping, and then lie there content to hold her until their alarm went off. Almost always they made love in the morning. With Abby feeling more refreshed, and Gibbs yearning for the comfort of her body and soft touch, it had become part of their routine.

The following Friday, Abby watched him carefully as they sat on the back porch drinking a beer before bed. "Gibbs?"

"Hmm?" He glanced over at her with a soft smile. He loved how relaxed and content she looked in his home. The topic of living arrangements still had yet to come up, but she didn't look like she was bored of him or ready to leave.

"You look really, really tired. Are you okay?"

Her question caught him off guard. "Been a long week, long day," he shrugged.

Abby nodded and downed the last of her beer. "Let's go to bed. Tomorrow is Saturday and Tony talked about maybe meeting up downtown for lunch. So we can't sleep too long."

"Right behind you." Gibbs drank the last of his beer, grabbed her empty bottle and held the back door open for her to let her in. They went through their nighttime routines and climbed into bed. Gibbs was exhausted. He hadn't slept much during the time he had thought she was dead, and with the exception of the first night she had held him, he hadn't slept nearly enough in the past week.

"Love you," Abby barely had the words out before she was asleep, curled against his chest.

"Love you too," he whispered.

"_I don't know why you care so much, it's not like you two were in a real relationship." Fornell rolled his eyes. "I mean, she was your employee really. It's not like you can't hire anyone else!"_

"_But I love her, I need her!"_

"_She's dead! Find someone else, hire someone else. I'm tired of your complaining. I mean, if this is what she had to listen to all the time, I wouldn't be surprised if she offed herself, you know? You're not a cranky bastard, you're an obnoxious bastard. God, if I'd have known, I'd have saved her from you years ago."_

Gibbs woke with a start and instinctively tightened his arms around Abby. They had moved around a bit and now Abby's back was flush with his chest. He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck and settled in to wait for her to wake. He closed his eyes a few times hoping to fall back asleep, but every time he closed his eyes, Fornell's angry face and harsh words came back to him. He lifted his head to see that it was just past two. Her alarm was set for nine. It was going to be another long night.

As he waited, Gibbs debated on when he would ask Abby to stay. He didn't want her to feel pressured into staying, but at the same time, he didn't want her to feel like he was too casual about it, only offering her his home because he felt he had to.

"Aren't you going back to sleep?" Abby's sleepy voice broke through his thoughts.

"Hmm? Did I wake you?"

Abby turned in his arms and yawned. "You had a nightmare and woke up nearly an hour ago. You're still not back asleep."

"Just thinking," Gibbs shrugged. "You go back to sleep."

Abby shook her head and propped herself up on her arm to get a better look at him in the dark. "That's why you've been so tired lately, you're not sleeping." She started to pull away.

"Where you going?"

"I'm not going anywhere, but like the first night, let me hold you. Let me keep the bad dreams away." She worked herself higher up on the pillow and pulled Gibbs in.

He was a bit stiff at first, but soon relaxed against her and pressed his face to her neck. She was warm and soft and when her fingers started to massage the base of his skull, he couldn't help but fight a jaw-popping yawn. "You need sleep, too."

"Close your eyes," Abby pressed her lips to his forehead.

He struggled to keep his eyes open for a few minutes, but as his eyes drifted shut, the visions that had kept him awake the past several nights were replaced by pleasant images. The first time they made love. Abby dancing in her lab. Her dressed in one of his old t-shirts. An obnoxious sound startled Gibbs and as he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see that the room was light and it was Abby's alarm going off. "Abbs?"

"Yeah…" sleepily she reached to the bedside and switched off the alarm. "Five more minutes…" she moved back toward him and pressed her face into the pillow.

* * *

Sitting at a picnic table eating ice cream and sharing Abby's attention with Tony wasn't exactly his first choice of activities, but he had to admit… it wasn't bad. Tony was a bit of a goofball and making Abby laugh, but at the same time he wasn't being childish or obnoxious, so Gibbs could sit back and enjoy the sound of her laughter in between sharing bites of his ice cream.

"Things starting to feel more _normal_?" Tony asked softly.

Gibbs cringed at the question, but Abby seemed to take it in stride. "Yeah, things are starting to feel more natural and the gaps in what I do remember are fewer and farther in-between. Every so often something pops up that just stumps me, but luckily none of it has been work related. Talked to Vance yesterday after my appointment with the shrink, and he said I could probably be back to work in another week."

"That's great! We all miss you at NCIS. Boss, you'll be back next week though, right?"

"Gettin' tired of being the boss?" Gibbs smirked. He wasn't thrilled about going back to work without Abby, but he knew he couldn't smother her either.

"No one does it better than you, boss." Tony grinned ear to ear. "Alright, I've got to get going. There is a pick-up game of basketball at my gym and I promised some of the guys that I'd be there."

"Thanks for ice cream, Tony." Abby stood to hug him as he came around the picnic table. He hugged her back and then shook Gibbs' hand.

"What do you want to do?" Gibbs asked as soon as Tony was gone. It was a sunny day and with nothing to do, their options were endless.

"A walk through the park?"

"Perfect," Gibbs stood and offered his hand, smiling when she accepted. It was a slow, meandering walk through the park. He could remember many lazy days with Shannon spent like this, first just the two of them, then pushing a stroller, and later on with Kelly rushing ahead to look at a pretty leaf or pick up an odd shape rock. He held her hand a little tighter and smiled when she leaned into him. For the first time in a long time, Gibbs didn't care about hiding behind his perfect wall – not caring if other saw him happy. "You make me happy, you know that?"

Abby grinned and pulled their hands up so she could kiss over his knuckles. "Hopefully as happy as you make me. I know you're not so into sharing your emotions or really anything in your private life, but it means a lot to me that you could come out today with Tony and I. You might not have actually said anything about us, but holding my hand in front of him like you did, sharing your ice cream. I know that he knows you're not just _watching out for me_."

"No need to hide anything. I don't plan on flaunting anything at work, but that's because at work, I'm focused on work. Not because I don't want anyone to know about us."

"I know, and I get that too. We've got important jobs to do and once we're both back, we've got to get our jobs done."

"Doesn't mean we can't take an occasional lunch date."

Abby grinned up at him, "you're going to have to schedule soon, my planner is already filling up. Ducky has asked me out for lunch on my first day back. The ladies in accounting want to take me out, Vance's secretary has promised me lunch… I'm a busy girl."

"How's the schedule for 2013 coming?"

"I might have a few days open."

"Good, pencil me in for those."

"Alright," she laughed, "I'll be sure to send our reminders a few days before."

He stopped and pulled Abby out of the main flow of the path, pulling her to his chest so he could dip his head to kiss her. He loved their banter and had missed it over the first few days as she was more cautious in the way she spoke. "Love you."

"No!" A startled cry broke them apart. "No, Addison, you can't!"

"Rex?"

* * *

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

"Rex?"

Rex stumbled forward, obviously drunk. "Addison, you can't love him… it's you and me, remember?"

Gibbs tried to position himself in front of Abby, but she nudged him aside and stepped forward. "Rex, I really appreciate all your help, but I'm not the person you thought I was. My name is Abby, and I was confused after the explosion of the night club. When you found me… I didn't know what to think." She took half a step back as Rex got too close. "I don't know who Addison is, but if you know more, maybe I can help you find her."

"Abby…" Gibbs growled. He didn't like the way this guy looked so desperate to get his hands on Abby.

"S'ok Gibbs," she whispered.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS," Rex snapped at Gibbs.

"Hey, watch it," he growled again, this time putting his hand on Abby's back. "Come on Abbs, let's go before things get out of hand." Out of respect for Abby he was willing to walk away. As much as he hated that this guy thought Abby was _his_, the man had taken care of her for a week and despite Rex being off his rocker, the outcome could have been much worse.

"You can't leave me again, Addy. You can't!"

"Come on," Gibbs gave her a little nudge and after a moment's hesitation, Abby turned and walked away. He could tell she was upset, but there was something in this guy's eyes that unsettled Gibbs. He was confident enough in their relationship – whatever it was exactly – that she wouldn't be mad for long. But when she shrugged away from his touch as they neared his car, he worried that she might stay upset a little longer than he thought. "Abbs, I know you can take care of yourself, but this guy…"

Abby sat stiffly in the front seat, staring straight ahead. "I don't need to be rescued from every guy that looks at me."

"I know," he said softly, not wanting to upset her further. "It wasn't out of jealousy, this guy is nuts. We don't know what he's capable of."

"He was drunk, and yeah… in need of his medication on a regular basis, but it doesn't mean he's a bad guy. I lived with him for a week and he took care of me. I can't just…" she sighed. "I don't know."

"You're a good person, Abby. Sometimes I worry that you're too trusting, too forgiving. Hell, I worry that you'll be too forgiving when it comes to me."

"I just want to help."

"I know. Do you know his last name? Maybe we can do a little research and then… come up with a plan." Gibbs would rather her forget all about him, but he could see that it would mean a lot to her so he was willing to help. Especially if it meant he could keep an eye on her as well as keep her at a distance from Rex.

"I don't," she shook her head. "But maybe Rosita can ask around at the lunch that the church serves every weekend. Someone there might know."

Gibbs nodded. When all else failed, go to sister Rosita. Maybe that was a rule he needed to add.

* * *

Rosita didn't know Rex, but she promised to ask around and get back to them. Monday at NCIS was slow, so Gibbs left Tony in charge for an hour while he strolled through the park where they had met over the weekend, hoping to find Rex on his own. He was almost back to NCIS when he felt like he was being watched. Slowing his pace, Gibbs turned and scanned the streets around him. He was certain he spotted Rex in the distance, but then a bus passed in front of him. When it was gone, there was no sign of Rex anywhere.

His gut was twisting.

"DiNozzo. Conference room."

"On it boss," Tony jumped up and headed toward the stairs up to the conference room, but slowed when he realized Gibbs wasn't behind him. "Boss – Oh!" He hurried after Gibbs and stepped into the elevator behind him. "What's up?"

"The guy that Abby was with while she was… _gone_… I think he's following her."

"You do?" Tony had gotten the run down on what had happened at the church the day of her memorial. "What makes you think that?"

"He was at the park after you left. Just saw him down the street from NCIS. He was agitated when he saw Abby, kept calling her Addison, wanting her to go with him. I don't trust him, he needs help."

Tony nodded and straightened, "so you want me to casually assign someone to tail her during the day, plain-clothes guy outside the window into her lab? She's staying with you still, right? I can have someone circle your neighborhood."

A smile tugged at the corner of Gibbs' mouth. At work Tony always seemed to know what he was thinking – Tony was senior field agent for a reason.

"But boss, do me a favor and don't lie about it. Maybe mention that you think you saw him, that you're concerned. If she figures it out, tell her I assigned the guard."

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Whatcha got for me, Abbs?" Gibbs strolled into the lab and called out one of his most favorite lines.

Abby jumped up from the desk and rushed toward the computer. "I…." she spun around to face him, "wait, I'm not working any cases yet, I don't…"

"I know," Gibbs smirked.

"Tease."

Kevin smiled briefly before turning back to his tests. It hadn't taken much for Abby to win him over. She had spoken to Vance and once Abby was ready to return, Kevin had been offered a job with a smaller, private firm. A glowing recommendation from NCIS had put him as one of their top candidates and then a phone call from Abby had sealed the deal. It had made her daily visits to the lab less stressful for the both of them, and he was willing to listen to her advice and suggestions on tests, despite her not being officially able to work cases for another week.

"Let's have coffee," Gibbs reached out and offered his hand, which Abby eagerly accepted. "I want to talk."

"Uh oh," Abby followed him to the elevator. "You wanting to talk?"

"Just want you to listen to what I have to say."

"I always listen," she leaned against his chest as they rode the elevator to the main floor. They walked out of the building hand in hand and Gibbs led her to the coffee shop on the Navy yard. She smiled and waved at everyone she knew, and even those she didn't. Almost everyone on the navy yard was aware of what had happened to her, and everyone was beyond supportive. She smiled at a man in a dark grey shirt, but he didn't smile back – instead turned the other way.

"Was out earlier, for a walk," he started once they were at their favorite table, a bit out of the way.

"You should've called me up!"

"Shhh," he quieted her gently, "I was out walking around, felt like I was being watched. I saw Rex again. I think he's trying to follow you."

"Gibbs…"

"I just want you to be aware. We've got Rosita asking around for information, but I don't want this to get out of hand."

"He wouldn't hurt me, if that's what you're worried about."

"I don't know this man, Abbs, I don't know what he's capable of. He thinks you two belong together and you walked away from him." Gibbs couldn't image how he'd feel if Abby walked away from him and into the arms of someone else.

"Did he say something?"

"No," Gibbs shook his head, "I just caught a glimpse of him watching me, a bus drove past and when it gone so was he."

"Gibbs," Abby sat forward and reached out to cover his hand with hers. "I hate to say it, but I think you're a little paranoid."

"Something doesn't feel right, Abbs. I don't trust him and I want you to at least be aware of that. I'm trying…" he let out a ragged sigh. "I'm trying to be open and honest with you here."

"I know and I…" Abby trailed off when she saw the same guy from outside ordering coffee at the counter. He twisted as he reached for a napkin and she saw his gun and badge under his jacket. "Oh my God, please tell me you didn't."

"Didn't what?" Gibbs sat back, unsure of what she was talking about.

"You're having me tailed." She nodded to the man at the counter. "I saw him outside and even though I smiled at him, he just looked away. Now he's here, and I saw a badge and gun. You have him watching me!"

"Abby, calm down. I didn't…"

"Don't lie to me Gibbs!"

He wasn't going to rat out Tony. Tony might have been the one to assign the guard, but Gibbs had spoken up about the concern. "I just want to make sure you're safe. That's all."

"I can't believe you." Abby pushed back her chair, stood and grabbed her Caf-Pow. She dropped it in the trash and headed back to NCIS.

* * *

Gibbs watched her leave. As soon as she was out the door, the man at the counter approached. "I heard she figured me out, Tony said she was pretty quick to pick up on stuff like that. I tried to keep a low profile, guess it didn't work."

Gibbs nodded. "Keep an eye on her still."

"I will. You have a picture of this Rex guy yet? Tony said he'd get one to me as soon as possible."

"Not yet, Tony will keep you up to date."

The man nodded. "Okay."

Gibbs picked up his coffee and carried it back toward NCIS. When he arrived, McGee and Ziva were at their desks, but Tony was nowhere to be seen.

"Uh, boss…. Tony just took Abby home, said he'd call you soon. But Abby looked pretty upset, maybe you want to go too?" McGee suggested.

Gibbs nodded and picked up the files he had been reviewing. He wasn't officially back at work on a full-scale basis until Abby was – giving him the option to leave if needed. He grabbed his keys and headed to his car. He debated on picking up dinner on the way, maybe flowers or something. He'd never really felt the urge to do something like that for one of his ex-wives, but he hated that Abby was upset with him. He decided that sorting things out with her were more important so he headed right home. He expected DiNozzo's car to be in his driveway, and was surprised when it wasn't. He doubted Tony would have dropped her off and just left, but if Abby was upset, maybe she'd asked for time alone.

He unlocked the front door and let himself in, listening for any sign of where she might be. The silence that greeted him was unnerving so he called out for her. "Abbs?"

He listened, but got no reply. Just before calling out for her again, his cell phone rang. "Yeah, Gibbs."

"Hey boss…. That didn't last long."

Gibbs snorted.

"She said you hired her tail, told you to tell her it was me."

"Wouldn't have mattered, she knows I'm behind it all. No need for her to be pissed at the both of us."

"I guess," Tony sighed. "She asked me to bring her back to her apartment. So I just dropped her off. Doesn't want company, but agreed to let me walk her in and take a look around since it's been empty for a few weeks."

"Good."

"Yeah, I'll get my guy parked across the street for a while and have him follow her if she goes anywhere. But she mostly seemed interested in going through all her belongings. I don't think she'll go anywhere. You gonna go talk to her?"

Gibbs shrugged. "I'll call her, if she wants some space, I'll give it to her."

"Just don't… don't wait too long. I'm not trying to involve myself in your _personal life_ but she's my best friend and even if she's mad, she needs you around."

"Thanks for taking her home, DiNozzo."

"Sure boss."

* * *

TBC

Thank you so much for all the kind comments and reviews. Life has been a little crazy – extra work hours, online courses and I've started playing soccer again – whew!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Gibbs paced.

It had been three hours since he'd spoken to Tony after his senior agent had dropped Abby off at her apartment. He wanted to give her the space she needed, but at the same time, he wanted to make sure everything was okay between them. He pulled his cell from his pocket and turned it over in his hands a few times. Eventually he dialed Abby's number and waited.

"Hey Gibbs," she answered quietly.

"Hey." He was relieved to hear her voice. "Can I come over?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Gibbs hung up and grabbed his keys and wallet before hurrying out to his truck. The drive was quick and Gibbs found himself raising his hand to knock on her apartment door.

"Hey," Abby opened the door and stepped back to let him in. "Sorry I just took off like that earlier."

Gibbs reached out and pulled her into his arms. "I only want to keep you safe, Abbs. It's all I've ever wanted to do."

"I know. I… I talked to Tony a bit on the ride home. He calmed me down, told me that you came to him. Which is am improvement compared to going lone wolf like you usually do. But I just… were you going to tell me I was being tailed by one of your guys? I'd have noticed him eventually, you know that right?"

"Was hoping it would only be a day or two, around NCIS while I was working. Figured we'd find out more about him, how to help him and then not have to worry anymore."

"He won't hurt me, Gibbs. I know you don't know him, but I do."

"I know, but my gut tells me he's bad news and I can't lose you again. Lost you once and I can't go through that again." He cupped her face in his hands. "If anything happens to you…" he shivered at the thought, "I can't, Abbs. I can't go through that again."

"You won't," Abby pressed up on her toes to capture his lips in a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close, "you won't lose me, I promise."

"I can't." He kissed her back, pouring everything he could into the kiss so that she would hopefully understand everything that he was trying to convey to her.

As he kissed her, Abby reached for his belt and tugged him backward toward her bedroom, working his shirt out of his pants as they moved. Once they were in her room, she managed to push and pull his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside before working on his pants.

Gibbs' hands weren't idle, and Abby found herself in substantially less clothes than Gibbs in just minutes. She pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed before kneeling in front of him. She pressed a gentle kiss to his knee as she untied his shoes and slipped them off his feet, followed by his socks, pants and boxers.

He watched with hooded eyes as she showered every inch of his knees and thighs with attention. She rubbed her cheek against his thigh, and glanced up at him with a loving smile when he reached out to brush his fingers across her cheek. She nipped gently at his fingertips and then refocused her attention on his thighs. She encouraged him to sit closer to the edge of the bed, as she nudged his legs apart to give herself room. He was half hard already and she hadn't touched him yet. But that's how it had been with them the past week or so. Even the promise of the others touch had their bodies thrumming with excitement.

She pressed her tongue to the slit on the tip of his dick and grinned at the groan it pulled from him. She slipped her lips around him and glanced up to meet his eyes. His lids were heavy and his mouth was slack, his heavy breaths making his chest rise and fall rapidly. "God Abbs…" She always looked so devilish, as though she knew he was removing his brain through his dick, but all he could do was watch and try not to be forceful as his hips thrust forward a bit.

Every time the tip of his dick nudged the back of her throat, Gibbs was certain he was about to lose his grip on holding off on his orgasm. "You've gotta stop, Abby, I can't…" he nudged the back of her throat again and tossed his head back as he gritted his teeth. "_Abby!_" he strained.

Abby pulled away and nuzzled against his thigh to catch her breath.

"My turn to return the favor," he motioned for her to move up onto the bed with him. Leaning over her, he kissed her until she was writhing under him, waiting for his touch. "Haven't even touched you yet, look like you're about to fall apart," his smirk was almost irritating.

"_Gibbs_," she warned, "I can finish this part alone if you don't _do something_." She pushed her hand down over her stomach and between her thighs.

"I don't think so," Gibbs grabbed her wrists and pushed them up above her head as he leaned forward to nibble at her breasts. Eventually he let go, so he could move down over her stomach, over her hips and finally to nip at the sensitive skin of her inner thigh.

"Come on, Gibbs… I didn't make _you_ wait!" She pushed her fingers through his hair and scratched her fingers lightly along his scalp, making them both shiver. She cried out as soon as he covered her wet heat with his mouth. He teased her gently with his tongue, letting her soft moans guide his actions. He was impatient though, trying to bring her close to an orgasm quickly before scraping his teeth lightly over her clit and then moving his attention to the small bat-shaped tattoo over her hip. He traced the tattoo with is tongue and then moved back up her body for a kiss.

He pulled away and moved up to sit against the headboard of her bed and then beckoned her over. He helped her to straddle his hips and guided her down over him. He loved being able to hold her as she ground her hips down against his.

"God, you feel so good," she cupped his face and pressed her lips to his as she rocked back and forth. She knew she was taking the easy route, her steady movements pushing her closer and closer to release. She pulled away and pressed her face to his neck as he gripped her hips and helped to rock her fasted, harder.

"Touch yourself, Abbs…" he whispered and nuzzled against her ear. Their current position wasn't quite enough to get him off, but he was nearing the point where he just wanted to flip her over and take what he needed.

She gripped his shoulders tighter and nipped at his neck. "I want you to touch me, _please._"

Gibbs could never refuse a request like that. He wrapped one arm tighter around her, while his other hand slipped between them, his fingers seeking her clit. She was crying out, her body jerking against his, within minutes. His continued brushes over her sensitive nub, kept her in a breathless state as her body rode wave after wave of pleasure. "Gibbs…"

When she eventually relaxed against him, he ran his hands up and down her legs, and whispered soothing reassurances in her ear. He was still hard, almost painfully so, but he cherished these quiet moments where he felt so connected to her.

Eventually she pulled herself and managed to maneuver them further down the bed. Rolling them over, she pulled Gibbs over her, giving him the change to take what he needed.

Sitting back on his heels, Gibbs gripped her hips and slipped a pillow under her to get her at the perfect position. He thrust into her slowly at first, his eyes clouded with lust as he watched her writhe and moan in front of him. She clenched around him and he tossed his head back with a groan, "that's it, Abbs…" he pushed into her again, and again before his hips stilled and he came with a growl.

Abby reached out for him, and he fell forward, covering her body with his. Wrapping himself around her, Gibbs nuzzled against her neck and dropped several kisses over her neck, shoulder and jaw, eventually tilting her mouth towards his and nipping her lower lip.

They lay together for nearly a half an hour before Gibbs finally spoke. "Let's go home, Abbs."

"I think I want to stay here." The moment the words were out and Gibbs stiffened, she knew he had taken in the wrong way. "Gibbs…"

"I should get going," Gibbs pressed one more kiss to her shoulder and then swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Gibbs, no… don't leave, not like this. I just… I want to spend more time in my apartment, I… Gibbs!"

Gibbs wasn't sure if he could explain the hurt he felt. He was glad he hadn't asked her to move in yet, because he was fairly certain now that she wasn't interested. "It's okay, I've got stuff to get done." He pulled his pants on and then his shirt before sitting on the edge of the bed to pull on his socks and shoes.

"Don't be mad, Gibbs."

"I'm not, call me when you get a chance." She was hugging him from behind as he tied his shoes.

"Gibbs…"

He turned and kissed her one last time and then got up and headed out. Abby slipped on a pair of sweats and t-shirt and followed him to the front door, unsure of how to make things better. "Gibbs, I just need a little time here, that's all."

"Take all the time you need." He looked her over one last time, fought the urge to kiss her _again_ and then left. He felt uneasy leaving her like this, but she clearly wasn't as ready for their relationship the way he was. There was nothing he could do but let her figure things out on her own.

* * *

As soon as the door shut behind him, Abby wanted to kick herself. She knew he had been through a rough time the past few weeks – first thinking she was dead, then having her not remember. His countless nightmares had him almost depending on her nearness in a way she could never remember him having done before. Every time he looked at her, she could see the residual pain in his eyes that only ever disappeared for a few brief moments when the rest of the world disappeared and it was just them. She felt guilty having put him through so much and she understood how Rex was a threat to him, despite her telling him otherwise. She never meant to upset him, but it was the first time she'd had any time alone for any substantial amount of time. She just wanted to see her things, flip through photos and try and piece back the last few missing pieces of her memories.

She felt lost, unsure of how to proceed in maintaining her relationship with Gibbs and still fulfilling her need for quiet time. She had no intention of staying at her apartment, so long as he didn't mind her moving in. She didn't think he would mind, but he'd made no mention of permanently changing her residence to his place. She figured it was his way of not pushing her, though she was planning to ask in the next few days how he saw things going. She figured a few more hours and she would head over and sort things out for good.

She startled at the soft knock at the door. Maybe she wouldn't have to wait to sort things out after all.

"Gibbs, I don't think you understand-" Abby pulled the door open and felt her heart sink. "Rex?"

"I saw him leave, Addy. It's our perfect time to get away."

* * *

TBC… ;)


	13. Chapter 13

Poor Gibbs, probably feeling pretty used and hurt… and OMG, ten brownie points for anyone what writes a little ficlet based on that loving look he gave her in the first ep.

* * *

The moment she opened the door, her heart sank. Despite wanting to believe the best in Rex – he'd never done anything wrong by her – she instantly knew Gibbs was right. He was _always_ right. "Rex, I don't…. now isn't a good time." She slowly tried to close her apartment door, mentally trying to remember where her cellphone was.

"Addy, we've got to get out of here. Don't let this man brainwash you into being someone you're not. We can get away, we can disappear forever!" He stepped forward, putting his foot out so the door couldn't close. "Come on, let's pack you a bag." He pushed his way into her apartment and closed the door behind him.

"Rex…" Abby shook her head, unsure of what to do. "How about… um… you make us some sandwiches in my kitchen and I… I'll go back a bag with clothes."

Rex seemed to consider the idea and then nodded. "We'll need food for a few days until we're well out of the area."

"And… and don't forget to fill two water bottles. I keep those in the drawer to the left of the sink." She pointed toward her kitchen. "Will I… will I need warm clothes, or…?"

"A little bit of everything, probably." Rex seemed satisfied with her response.

"Oh… okay," she slowly backed away from him. There was no way to get out the front door without him seeing her. She wasn't sure how fast he was, but she didn't want to risk him catching her – she had no idea if he was armed. She hurried back toward her bedroom and dug through the piles of clothes she had been wearing before Gibbs came over. She dialed his number, "please, please, please answer_… Gibbs!" _ She covered her mouth, hoping she hadn't been too loud when he answered the phone.

"Yeah, Gibbs." He sounded tired, hurt… everything she would have expected.

"You were right," she whispered, "he's here!"

"Addy-" Rex stepped into her bedroom. "Who're you talking to?"

"No one!" Abby spun around, holding the phone behind her. "I… I was talking to no one."

"But I heard…"

"Oh, I was… I was, uh, talking to myself. I do that a lot. Asking myself what was worth packing." She tried to speak a little louder, hoping Gibbs could still hear.

"Where's your bag?"

"I haven't gotten it out yet, wasn't sure how big of one I needed until I pulled my clothes… Did… did you make lunch?"

Rex shook his head. "You have no food; I just filled the water bottles. We can grab something to eat along the way."

Of course she had no food, she hadn't been living there. Giving up on being able to talk to Gibbs, she moved to her dresser drawers and set the phone down gently, keeping it out of Rex's sight. She wasn't sure how far Gibbs had gotten, or if he'd been able to hear much of anything, she just prayed he would turn around to at least investigate her strange call. She took her time, asking Rex's opinion on various outfits, where they might stay – anything to buy time.

Finally she made it back over to where she had set the phone down to see that the call had ended – Gibbs had hung up. She was running out of ways to stall when she heard the front door open slowly. She glanced back at Rex, who seemed not to have heard anything. He was mumbling to himself where he stood by the door to the master bathroom. "I um… I think my favorite sweatshirt is out on the couch, I'll just go grab-"

"No!" Rex shouted at her, suddenly agitated. "I'll get." He continued to mumble something about going away. He took a step toward the door and stopped when Gibbs appeared, his gun drawn. "How did you get in here?" He backed up and grabbed Abby, using her as a shield.

"Let her go, let's talk this over."

"She doesn't love you, she loves me. We're going away forever and you can't stop us."

"I'm not trying to stop you, just want you to sit down and think things through first, that's all."

"No no no no… you want to take her away again, you want to break us apart."

"Rex," Abby squirmed and tried to loosen his grip. "He won't hurt us, he just wants to talk, please. We can go sit in the kitchen."

Rex seemed to think about it and then nodded. "You go first, we'll follow." He motioned for Gibbs to move.

Gibbs backed out toward the kitchen, and glanced over to the front door. It looked closed, but he had left it open just a crack. As soon as he had heard Abby's panicked voice, he'd made the tough decision to hang up and call Tony. He believed her when she had told him she didn't think Rex would hurt her, and there was nothing he could do over the phone, so he'd made the tough decision to hang up.

Rex followed, holding on to Abby tightly. Every time he thought she was pulling away, he held her tighter. If she really wanted to, she could probably fight him off, but Gibbs was trigger-happy in cases like this and she didn't want Rex to die – he just needed help. "I don't like you here," Rex mumbled. "I just want you to leave. Why can't you leave us alone?"

They were almost to the dining table when Rex suddenly let go and lunged for a knife left on the counter.

"Rex…" Gibbs warned. There was enough distance that he wasn't concerned yet. Abby fell to the side when Rex let go and scrambled to her feet, rushing to Gibbs' side. "Put it down, Rex. We need to talk, having a knife isn't going to solve anything."

"You have a gun."

"I'll lower my gun once the knife is on the table and you step away."

Rex thought it over and looked at Abby. "Addy, why did you let him do this to us? I thought we were leaving. We had plans…"

"Rex, no… I was hurt, confused. Put the knife down and we'll figure it out."

"No!" Rex shouted as he stepped forward, "you can't do this to me!"

Rex lunged forward and Gibbs had no choice but to pull the trigger. He wanted to go for the kill shot – any threat against Abby was enough to warrant it in his mind, but he knew she would blame herself. Instead he aimed for the shoulder, knocking Rex back off his feet.

The knife fell from his hand and Gibbs kicked it away before kneeling beside him. "Relax," he turned to Abby, "grab a towel to help the bleeding."

"You shot me!"

"Boss?!" Tony burst in, his gun drawn.

"We're secure here, call an ambulance, would ya?"

Abby returned with a towel and knelt down to press it to Rex's shoulder. Rex glared up at her, but the blood loss had knocked him down a few pegs. They sat quietly, Gibbs securing his hands in cuffs in front of him while they waited.

"So… what happened?" Tony finally asked.

"He came over after Gibbs left, said we were going away. I managed to call Gibbs and…" she shrugged. "Gibbs was right," she admitted quietly, "I should have taken the possible threat more seriously." She looked up at Gibbs, "I'm sorry."

"I know." Gibbs sighed and nodded. "Where's your guy? Wasn't he still tailing?"

Tony frowned. "He didn't follow when I drove her home, maybe thought I was staying with her, or figured you were. I said he only needed to keep an eye on her around NCIS."

Abby was about to ask them to clarify what they meant by _Tony's guy_, but they heard the call of sirens and soon several local LEO's came rushing in, their guns drawn. "Stand down, NCIS…." Tony flashed his badge. "Situation is under control, but we need a medic for this guy."

"Ah, they are right behind us," he headed back for the door and called the medic up. Abby and Gibbs moved out of the way, while the medic tended to Rex's shoulder and then moving him to a stretcher. "Is NCIS taking this case, or…?"

Gibbs thought about it, but then looked to Abby. It would be open and shut regardless – clearly the man's mental state was to blame. He would be sent to a psychiatric hospital and likely kept under lock and key for quite some time while they sorted out his meds and looked up any family. If NCIS took the case, they would be required to work it rather than just show up for interviews and give statements. So for Abby's sake, Gibbs shook his head. "No, no this one is all yours."

"Okay," the cop pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. "I suppose you know the drill. I need some basic information now, a statement, don't leave the area, etc etc."

Gibbs nodded. Abby went with one cop, Gibbs with another. They each gave their version of what happened, while Tony spoke to the third cop and exchanged contact information. Gibbs and Abby were still busy talking when he finished, so he headed for the kitchen, gathered some cleaning supplies out from under the sink and cleaned up the bit of blood on the tile floor. He figured Gibbs and Abby needed time to talk, but he didn't want leave without letting them know. Abby was done first – they had a few extra questions for Gibbs since he had pulled the trigger. "You gonna be okay if I head out?" Tony pulled her into a tight hug.

"Yeah, thanks for coming."

"Welcome. I'm just glad no one died and you weren't hurt."

"Me too."

She gave him one last squeeze and then walked him to the door. "I'll see you at work soon, thanks again." She watched until he was out of sight and then looked over to the corner where Gibbs and the officer were still talking. She noticed that the blood had been cleaned up and made a mental note to leave a thank you and a candy bar on Tony's desk the next time she was at NCIS.

She could tell they were wrapping up, and she watched as the cops gathered their notes and headed out. As soon as the door closed, Abby moved toward Gibbs and wrapped her arms around his middle for a hug. "I'm really, really sorry."

"Shhh, it's okay."

"No, I just wanted to be right. Why do I always attract the stalkers?"

"You were right in that… I don't think he would hurt you. Or, he didn't want to hurt you. I can't say what he would have done if you had tried to get away. But I believe he really cares about you."

"Yeah," Abby agreed. "Thank you. Thank you for coming back."

"I promised I'd always keep you safe, and I meant it."

"I appreciate it. I was just worried you wouldn't answer or that you'd just hang up or something. I didn't know what I would do if you didn't come." She looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest.

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead and then the tip of her nose. "I will always come back for you, no matter what."

Abby sighed and pressed her ear to his chest, and listened to the steady thump-thump of his heartbeat. "You don't think they'll let him go, do you?"

"No, I'll make sure of it."

"Gibbs?"

"Hmm?"

"It was Tony that assigned me protective detail, wasn't it?"

Looking down at her, Gibbs wasn't sure what to say. "We both wanted to be sure you were safe."

"Why didn't you say that he was in on it?"

"Doesn't matter."

"It does. I lashed out at you."

"It doesn't matter who made the call. If he hadn't, I would have."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to believe that he could be a problem. I shouldn't have stormed out the way I did. I just want… can we go back to your place now?"

Gibbs sighed and then gently pushed her away from him. "I think you were right, earlier. You need to spend some time here, figure out what you really want."

"Gibbs…" Her eyes went wide.

"No," he shook his head. "I know what I want, I want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to make sure it's what you want." He hated to see her eyes well up with tears. "I don't want to rush you into anything, but moving forward I have to know where we stand. Preferably, it's with you by my side. Think about it." He leaned and pressed his lips softly to hers and then headed for the door. "Think about it."

Then he was gone.

* * *

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Wasn't sure if I was going to split this into two or not, but I don't know if I'll be around to post again the next day or so... so I've wrapped it all up here. Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews and private msg's with comments, questions and suggestions. I hope I got to everyone's review... I think I did, but if I missed you, I apologize. Thanks for sticking with it, and if anyone has any plot ideas... I'm always looking for more!**  
**

* * *

Abby watched him leave with tears in her eyes. The way she had pushed him away earlier, wanting to stay in her apartment a while longer, had been hard on him, though she thought he had misunderstood how long she had wanted to stay. She figured he assumed she meant days, whereas she had only wanted a few hours. The last thing he had said, about wanting her in his life for good, had confirmed everything for her, so as she turned back to her bedroom, she had no hesitations as she started pulling things out of her closet.

She hated how upset he had looked, as if he thought she had doubts about them, but she was determined to put his fears to rest. She found her suitcase in the back of her closet and placed it on the bed, filling it with clothes she would need for the immediate future, as well as a few personal things – a photo of the team, and a small teddy bear Gloria had given her shortly before she had passed away.

She rolled her suitcase to the front door and then tidied up around her apartment, not wanting to run right to his place. The last few hours had been intense, and she knew that they both needed a little time deal with it all, despite her wanting to just curl up in his arms. She knew it was the adrenaline, but she was on edge, every little noise making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She kept herself busy for as long as she could before she struggled down the stairs in front of her building and then rolled her suitcase to her car.

The drive to Gibbs' house was quick, but she was a bit concerned to see that his car was gone. She debated on whether or not she should call him, but decided she didn't want to push him. So she parked, and wheeled her suitcase up the front step. The door was locked, but he had given her a key, so she let herself in, left her suitcase by the stairs up to his bedroom and made herself comfortable on the couch. As soon as she was comfortable, she felt herself slowly fall asleep. Gibbs house was comfortable, and even though she was alone, she felt safe. Curling up on his couch was the next best thing to curling up in his arms. She just hoped she could curl up in his arms as soon as he was home, and that he didn't try to push her away again.

She was determined to explain it all.

* * *

Gibbs was surprised to see Abby's car parked in front of his house. Once he left her apartment, he'd gone for a drive to clear his mind and then picked up some groceries at the store. He had been gone a few hours and hoped that she hadn't been waiting for him long. He pushed open the front door and glanced around, closing it quietly behind him when he saw her sleeping on the sofa. He carried his groceries to the kitchen and put them away before starting coffee. Once the coffee pot was turned on, he headed back toward the living room and sat on the edge of the couch. He reached out and brushed the hair from her face, gently tracing her cheek with his fingertips. She startled at his touch. "Shh, just me," he soothed.

It took her a moment to piece things together, but suddenly her eyes were open and she pushed herself up to a sitting position. "Please don't kick me out, let me explain."

A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I'm not going to kick you out."

"Okay," she let out a sigh of relief. "I… earlier, when I said I needed time at my apartment, I think you misunderstood me. I didn't mean I wanted to _stay_ there, like overnight, I just meant a few hours. Kinda like when you need some quiet time in the basement, I just needed a _little _time. Not a lot, and I've certainly had plenty now. I just wanted the chance to go through some photo albums and dig through my drawers and… you know, just… be with my stuff."

Gibbs nodded. "You've been through a lot lately. I just want you to be sure that this is what _you_ want. Things were rushed between us and it's okay for you to take some time. I don't want to pressure you into anything." He picked up her hand and traced over the lines in her palm. "I've spent so much time hovering around you, for my own sake and wanting to keep you safe, I haven't given you much time to think."

"Gibbs," Abby pulled her hand out of his and reached up to touch his face, "I've never been surer of anything in my life, ever," she said. Then added, "except that I love science," with a grin.

"I thought I lost you," he turned his head to kiss her palm, "it nearly killed me."

"Gibbs, why are we going through this again? I love you, and I want to be with you. I just needed the chance to look through some of my stuff. I know you were upset with me for not taking Rex seriously as a threat and I get it… I was wrong, but why do you doubt what I feel for you? Why are you so convinced that I need more time to think it over?"

Gibbs swallowed against the lump in his throat. "I want you to be damn sure, because I want you here with me, in myhome, and because I want this to be _our_ home."

Abby wasn't sure she had ever seen so much emotion pass over his face. She was so taken aback at how much he was able to convey with just a simple look that it took her a long minute to respond. "I have a lot of stuff."

Gibbs was caught off guard by her response. "I'll make room for everything."

"And I need high speed internet."

"I'll call first thing tomorrow."

"And a puppy."

Gibbs' eyebrows shot up.

"Only kidding, just testing my limits." Abby leaned forward and into his arms.

They moved together until they were curled up on the couch, their legs stretched out and their heels on the coffee table. "If you really want a puppy, you can have a puppy." Shannon had asked about a puppy for Kelly, but they had decided to wait until she was a bit older and could take on more of the responsibility.

"I would love a puppy, but with our work schedules, it's not fair to the dog. Unless you could convince Vance that every day is take your dog to work day."

"Doubtful." He pressed his lips to her temple. "But I'll give it a try, if you want."

"Sometimes I worry that you'll make yourself sick of me by being so focused on trying to keep me safe," she admitted honestly. With how focused he could become, she didn't want him to come to resent her for how much of his time she was taking up. He had always cared about her, but he had plenty of time and space to himself before all this had happened. "I don't want you to resent me."

Gibbs understood her worry – he often felt the same, worried that his over-protectiveness would push her away. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed over her knuckles before nipping at her fingertips. "How about we make sure we make time for ourselves?"

Abby nodded. "If you ever just want to be undisturbed in your basement, just tell me. I won't be offended. And I… if I ever just say I'm going to the library, or to my lab… I'm not mad at you, I just need quiet, to think."

"We can give you a quiet space here."

"Nah, it's okay." She liked the guest room the way it was and didn't want to have to worry about putting things away for times that Jackson needed a place to stay, or even one of the team. Kelly's room was also upstairs, but as far as she was concerned, it was a non-issue. Their ghosts were welcome to stay, and she had no intention of moving things out of there. "I don't want to clutter the guest room with stuff. I like it simple, the way it is. Not that I want to sleep there when your bed is much more cozy and comes with a warm, comfortable, muscular, sexy body..." she ran her hand across his chest and then squeezed his bicep.

"Wasn't thinking of the guest room, was thinking of Kelly's old room."

Abby was shaking her head before he even mentioned her name. "Nope."

"Why?" Gibbs hadn't expected her to be so against it.

"Because I've heard all the horror stories of your ex-wives wanting to turn it into a sitting room or whatever, so no. Plus, my biggest concern is how I'm going to get all my clothes upstairs in your closet," she changed the subject.

"We'll make it work."

They sat together, talking, until nearly mid-night, grabbing a bit to eat when their stomachs started to growl, and then curling up together again. Once their yawns threatened to snap their jaws in half, Gibbs helped her to carry her suitcase up to his room. He set it down and watched as she opened it and grabbed something. "I have one other request."

"Anything."

She held up a framed photo of the team. "Can we put this up somewhere, it's my absolute favorite."

"Anywhere you want, except in here," he took the photo from her hand and looked it over, a smile on his face. When he was done, he set it face down on the dresser. "I refuse to have the team watching me make love to you."

A soft giggle bubbled up out of Abby and she reached up to Gibbs-slap the back of his head, her slap ending up more of a stroke than a slap. "But I bet Tony would enjoy it."

"I_ know_."

Gibbs let himself relax as they moved through their bedtime routines. He hadn't really thought ahead to sleeping alone, but now that she was back in his house and getting ready to join him in bed, he was glad that he didn't have to spend the night without her. He doubted he would get much, if any, sleep. Vaguely, he wondered if he'd have gone over and parked outside her building to keep watch even though Rex was locked up. At the very least he'd have spent the night in the basement or on the couch, checking every twenty minutes that he hadn't missed a call or a text, driving himself mad with worry… over nothing.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Abby asked as she slipped under the covers, rubbing the last of the lotion into her arms.

"You."

"Good, hot, sexy things, I hope?"

Gibbs smiled and held out his arm, inviting her to snuggle in close.

"Because if you're not thinking _those_ things, then really… why bother thinking about me at all?"

"Abbs…"

"Are you going to have nightmares tonight? About… about everything that's happened? Rex…?"

Gibbs sighed as she wrapped her arms around his middle, and pressed a kiss to his chest. "I don't think so."

"Wake me up if you do, okay? If you can't fall back asleep, alright?" She pushed herself up so she could lean in for a kiss. "Love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

Abby's first two weeks back at work full time was just what she hoped. No big cases keeping them over-night, but it wasn't slow enough for her to spend time second guessing her work either. Gibbs was adamant that they leave before dinner time and he checked in on her regularly – if he wasn't around he had someone else check in on her. The first weekend she had been too exhausted to do much of anything, but by the time the second Friday rolled around, she was ready for a long weekend relaxing with Gibbs and maybe spending some time outdoors. They still hadn't had time to figure out moving the rest of her stuff into her apartment.

"Hey babe," Tony strolled into her lab at quitting time on Friday. "Whatcha up to this weekend?"

"Sleeping-"

"Ugh, I don't want to hear about what you and the boss do between the sheets." Tony made a show of being grossed out.

"Shut it, Tony." Abby grinned at him. "I'm excited to sleep in."

"Me too, but then I was wondering if you want to grab lunch or come over and watch a movie or something. You know, like old times. Hang out."

"I don't know…"

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Gibbs scared them both.

"Jesus, what have I told you about sneaking into my lab!"

Gibbs grinned and moved to her side, sliding an arm around her. "You weren't paying attention, nothing I could do."

"Now you know how I feel when he sneaks up on me in the squad room. But anyway, you wanna hang out tomorrow?"

"I… I guess, if you don't mind?" She looked to Gibbs.

"Nah, plenty of time this weekend. I've got some stuff to work on in the basement anyway."

His encouragement was all she needed. "Okay then."

"Great! I'll pick you up at ten, we'll have a fun day. And I'll have her home before dark, boss."

Gibbs snorted at that and headed back to the elevators. "Come up when you're ready, Abbs. I'm done for the day."

* * *

"You're sure you don't mind?" Abby asked for the third time as they climbed into bed. "We had decided to relax all weekend."

"I'm sure, it's good to see you back to your regular self. Tony's missed you. I think he's been a bit cautious about taking you out. It'll be good for the both of you. Plus," he pulled her in and rolled over her, "I get you tonight."

"Gibbs!" Abby shrieked as he attacked her with kisses, his boyish side making an appearance. Abby felt as though sometimes she had to peel back his layers to get his playful side out, but once they were in bed, he was all smiles.

As much as she wanted a relaxing morning in bed – especially after their less-than-restful night before – by the time they woke, Abby was excited to head out with Tony. Gibbs sent her on her way with a kiss to the cheek as he refilled his coffee mug and went to sit down with the newspaper.

For once they were both feeling relaxed. Getting back into the swing of work had given them both something other than each other to focus on, and it put them both at ease.

"So I was thinking brunch first, then maybe a walk around some of the monuments, you know, work off all those calories, and then maybe a movie and some sugary snacks at my place?"

"Perfect!" Abby buckled herself into the passenger seat of Tony's car and they headed on their way. Tony took her to his favorite place for brunch and they found a quiet corner to sit in. "So things for you and the boss, they're good?"

"Very good. I'm… I'm really happy."

"I can tell," Tony smiled, "you both are. And it's good to see."

Abby smiled back. "You can tell he's happy, too?"

"Totally! The force of his head-slaps doesn't have me on the verge of a concussion anymore."

"Your scientific evidence is groundbreaking, thanks."

"Oh hey, what about Rex? How is that going?"

Abby fiddled with her napkin, "they are still monitoring him and stuff. They asked me if I wanted to press charges," she shrugged, "Gibbs wasn't happy about it, but jail isn't the right place for him. He needs help, so I agreed to drop any charges against him as long as he went somewhere that would keep him and those around him safe. Ironically enough there is a place, just outside of Santa Fe, that has agreed to take him in."

"Maybe he's been there before?"

"Maybe. I haven't dug into it too much. I guess I just don't want to know, my only thing was that I want to be notified if he ever leaves the residence. They've agreed to notify police. No way I want him showing up back around here, Gibbs won't hesitate to pull the trigger again, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. I mean, I know this guy took care of you and I can see how you want him to get help, but from Gibbs point-of-view, this guy is a nut job that tried to kidnap you. I'd probably pull the trigger, too."

"I know."

Once they had the more serious bits out of the way, the fell back into their semi-childish behavior, discussing pop culture, the hot women that passed the window by their table and planned a night at the bar.

It was just past dinner time when Tony pulled up outside of Gibbs' house. Abby called Gibbs and offered to bring home food, but he said he had already made something to eat, with plenty extra if she hadn't had dinner yet. She tried to invite Tony in, but he claimed to have something to do, so she kissed his cheek and headed up the front steps.

"Have a good time?" Gibbs asked as Abby shut the door behind her.

"Yes, I… what's all this?" Abby stopped short when she saw the dining table was set for two, candles glowing.

"Made you dinner," he paused to kiss her as he moved around her and went to the kitchen to grab their plates.

"Did you… is that why you were eager to send me off with Tony?"

Gibbs laughed. "I wasn't _eager_ to send you off so I could make you dinner. Have a seat."

"But Tony knew, right?"

Gibbs shrugged. "He's a smart guy, probably."

Abby sat down and let Gibbs serve her steak, mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables. "I'm going to owe you many, _many_ favors once we head to bed. This looks wonderful."

"You don't owe me anything, but I will gladly accept a thank you in the form of physical appreciation." He would never say no to _that_. "How was your day, have a good time with DiNozzo?"

Abby nodded and took a bite. "Yeah, it was good to do something _normal_ outside of work. I feel like I spent so much time _trying _to remember, rather than just letting things happen. We talked a little about Rex and I told him everything that was going on, so I think he fully expects to be the first one you call, should Rex be released."

"He will."

Once they got past the topic of Rex, dinner conversation was light. "What'd you do today?"

"Worked around the house, nothing much," Gibbs shrugged.

She found it odd that he shrugged off her question so quickly, but she decided to say nothing. He had his right to spend a day around the house and do nothing. She was still worried about stepping on his toes after he had spent so many years alone in his house.

Gibbs could see it on her face that she was worried about asking too many questions, or demanding too much information, which he found amusing considering how over-protective he was. He glanced at her plate, she was almost done (if not actually done) eating. He scooted back his chair and stood, "come with me." He waited for her to stand and then held out his hand, offering it to her.

She was cautious as she took his hand and let him lead her up the stairs. "Eager for your _thank you_?" She teased, unsure of what else to say.

"Nope, something to show you."

"Gibbs, what's with you?"

He was quiet as he led her up the stairs. He went past the bathroom, the guest room _and_ the master bedroom, stopping outside the door to Kelly's room. "Go in."

"Gibbs…" Abby hesitated, "what are you…?"

Gibbs could see that she was uncomfortable, so he leaned forward and twisted the door knob and pushed it open. He could tell the exact minute that everything registered. She gasped, her body tensed, and her hand flew to her mouth.

"Gibbs…"

"Go in…" he nudged her forward. Kelly's room had been a faded pink, with stacks of dusty boxes. Now, with a little help from Tony it had been transformed into an office for her. The walls were painted a soft grey with the exception of one that was accented in a deep, dark purple. For the past two weeks he had been building furniture – a desk, and large bookshelf. For the past week he'd sent Tony to his house for a few hours at a time to supervise the painters and air out the hallway so she didn't smell anything. He'd taken the old furniture to good will and re-boxed everything he wanted to keep and moved it to the attic. She never went near the room, so he wasn't too worried, and he'd made the furniture in smaller pieces, telling her he was working on items for his next boat. Then, with Tony's assistance in keeping her out all day, he'd carried it all up two flights of stairs and put it together.

The shelves and desk were empty, and there was a spot for a small sofa or oversized chair, or even her coffin if she wanted. Most of her personal belongings were still at her apartment, but Tony had stopped by and picked up one of her favorite lamps to give the room some light.

"You like?"

"I… I'm speechless." She was frozen in place.

"I'm no good with decorating, so I'll leave that to you, but plenty of room for all your books and photos and whatever else. You can still have your stuff around the house, but so you have you own space as well," he didn't want her to think she had to contain all her stuff to one room. "Tony suggested the wall colors. We can change that too, if it's not what you want."

"It's beautiful."

"So you like it?"

"But what about… everything?"

"I dropped the stuff I didn't want to keep at goodwill, and the rest I packed up and moved to the attic."

"But this was… it was her _room_." And he'd kept it as her room for over 18 years.

"_Was_," he agreed. "I don't come in here to remember her, I… I use the basement. This room was only collecting dust. And this is a much better use for it."

"I don't… I don't know what to say."

"Just want you to be comfortable in _our_ house. It's our house now."

Abby turned and threw her arms around him and buried her face against his neck. She was suddenly overcome with emotion at the fact that he had done this for her. She remembered him telling her about his ex's and how they had been quick to want to redecorate, thinking they'd turn Kelly's old room into a new nursery, or a home gym. "I am comfortable, I just… you can't turn your house upside down to fit me in. I love your house the way it is." She wiped a tear from her cheek.

Gibbs smiled, "I know, but I want your stuff around too. And plus, this room has valuable closet space that I'm sure we'll need. Your skirts might not take up much room," he slipped his hands down over her ass and gave her a quick squeeze, "but still, the closet in _our _room won't hold everything."

Abby turned in his arms to lean back against him, her eyes looking over the room again. "I can't wait to get it all set up."

"We can start tomorrow."

* * *

Abby spent the majority of Sunday morning hastily packing her books, photos and small trinkets. The rest of her apartment could be packed later, but the stuff for her office was high priority. Gibbs boxed up her DVD's and wrapped up her TV and loaded in his truck and then helped her carry the boxes she had packed down as well. She was bubbly as they drove back to the house, rattling on about where to hang which photo, and how to organize her books. Gibbs helped her carry everything up, and then brought the tv to the living room. They still needed to figure out some sort of tv stand – they both agreed that hers didn't fit with the rest of what he owned, so while Abby unpacked upstairs, Gibbs set out to do a few sketches on something he could build.

At dinner time Gibbs ordered pizza and headed upstairs to check on Abby. "How're things going?" He leaned against the doorway and watched as she flattened another box.

"Good, I think I've got most everything up, but… it's missing… something."

"Yeah? Like what?" They still needed to put her coffin in, but she was staring at the wall of bookshelves.

"I don't… I'm not…" she sighed. "Something." She moved to his side and leaned into him. "Actually, um… do you have, um... would you mind if… can I have a photo of Kelly?" She tensed as she waited for a reply.

Gibbs was quiet a moment and then stepped out of the room, "wait just a minute…"

Abby was terrified that she had pushed him too far with her question, so she waited, glued to her spot.

"Here, maybe you want another frame, but for now…?" He used his shirt to wipe the thick layer of dust off the glass. Kelly was grinning up at the camera, her favorite doll clutched to her cheek. "This is a good one." He handed it to Abby.

A slow smile spread across Abby's face as she looked at the photo in her hands. She went over to the bookshelf and rearranged a few things, placing Kelly's photo between a small toy from her own childhood and a little bear that Tony had given her. "I love it."

"Perfect," Gibbs wrapped his arms around her middle and kissed the back of her head between her pigtails.

"You think?"

He tightened his arms around her and kissed the shell of her ear, "I know." He wanted to elaborate, make sure she truly understood that he was okay with the change, but the doorbell interrupted him. "That'll be the pizza."

"Oh, good! I'm starving!" Abby wriggled free of his grasp and was out the door in a flash, her footsteps hurrying down the steps.

Gibbs watched her go and then turned back to look at all of Abby's stuff, his attention moving back to the photo of Kelly on the shelf. He walked over and picked up again, smiling down at it. "You know," he started; it wasn't often that he spoke aloud to them, "when I lost you, I thought this was it for me. That I'd end up alone in this old house, with nothing but dust-covered memories. But I'm not alone. Not anymore." He brushed his fingers over her face and set the frame back where Abby had put it.

He could smell the pizza before he was downstairs. Abby was on the couch with the box in her lap and a bite of pizza in her mouth. "Hungry much?"

"I've been working hard, Gibbs! You've just been drawing!" She pointed to his sketches of TV stands.

Gibbs rested his arm along the back of the couch behind her and picked up a slice. "I carried boxes earlier. Plus, I'll need my strength for later," he leaned over and took a bite from her slice, "thinking you'll need your strength as well."

"Gibbs!"

* * *

The end


End file.
